Spring Training 5K Challenge: Mission Ouch!

Good morning my lovelies.. It's another fun filled day in the land of Sammie. What's on my agenda for today? Lots of packing... I am heading to Galveston for a few days in the name of work. My mom is the sponsor of a HOSA chapter, and the Texas state contest is this week. We have 3 different teams competing! Once the PSA team is done, I will be sure to link their PSA up on the blog! Brilliant kids I tell you!

So, what have I been doing as far as 5k training? Not much. I did go for a run last night and Sunday night, but I got cut short last night. I think I may have pulled a msucle or something in my left leg. I'm really sore and it hurts to walk on it today. Aleve and I are going to become BFFs if this crap keeps up.

I'm not sleeping like I should be either. I wake up so tired... I'm having to drag my arse out of bed and I'm downing caffiene like no one's business. It's frustrating...

On a different note, Crazy Pants McGee is back to his old ways... I haven't spoken to him since Thursday night... He's been begging me to talk to him, even saying that he loves me and calling me baby... O_O; What? Are you serious? Hello whacko... I don't love you. I may have loved you at one point in my life, but I do not love you now. I actually find your behavior appalling and I find you to be pushy and a bit rude. Ain't nobody got time fo dat...

Any-hizzle... I know that I made a mention of a super fantastical giveaway in April, since it's my birthday :) (24 on the 24th! woot!). I'll be shopping around in Galveston for some amazingness to add to what I already have. I'm actually really excited about my birthday this year. I'm hoping it's better than the years past. My birthdays tend to really depress me for some reason. Usually because some people tend to forget. Bleh. Oh well.. Another year older, another year wiser, another year alive. Allon-sy!

I'm Breaking Up With You...

It's Monday morning! Good morning my dears. I hope everyone had a FANTASTIC weekend! I know I did!! My weekend was so amazing I woke up this morning with a huge grin on my face. This was definitely one of the best weekends I've had in a long time.

So... I'm breaking up with several things in  my life at the moment.. It's time for me to part ways with some aspects of life and celebrate others.

The first thing I'm dumping is my long hair...

And to think.. It's actually behaving...

Long hair.. We've had some really good times and we've had some really bad times. You've always been supportive, but lately you've been a bit frizzy and unmanageable. In my quest to feel better in my own skin, I think it's time that you and I parted ways. I doubt that I will ever be coming back to the land of Rapunzel-esque tresses.

My new cut makes me look and feel foxy. I thought I was a sexy beast before, but the new hair just magnifies my animal magnetism. Not to mention I'm a little bit of an attention whore, so I'm loving all the oohs and aahs. RED HAIR DON'T CARE! At least I'm comfortable enough to admit that I'm an attention whore :-p

The second thing I'm dumping is my Monday Weigh In posts...

For too long, I've let my weigh ins on Monday morning dictate how my week goes. I come on here and I place all the focus on that number that the scale spits out at me. That's not my focus anymore. I don't give a damn what the scale says and I will not let it dictate my week. I'll keep logging on MFP and I'll weigh in there, but I don't plan on sharing my weight on my blog. My weight does not define me. I am not worth any less at a size 20 than I am at a size 10. Scale- You don't own me. Bugger off you bastard.

My blog is going to become a haven for me to work my balls off. I want to run and be fit. I want to dance and swim and live an active lifestyle! Fit is not a body shape. Fit is a way of life. Healthy eating, exercise, self confidence, body positivity, and mental health are what I'm all about now. Weight is no longer important to me. Fitness is important. My body is fantastic, time to make it healthier, stronger and sexier than ever.

This exactly... You are all beautiful...

I hope that you all will continue to stick around and read what I have to say... I want every single one of you to know that I'm so proud of everything you accomplished. I love reading about your losses, your gains, and your lives. I'm not going to stop following you and I will continue to cheer you on. This is merely a change for myself. You are all beautiful, strong women and look up to all of you for everything you've accomplished. Rock on ladies! You are in charge of your destiny!

I leave you today with the tshirt that is at the top of my wishlist. There is one person I would cuddle so hard. He's a reader too :) You know who you are!

Go Hide Your Crazy...

Good morning my lovelies! It's Friday!! Happy dance!!

This weekend promises to be a killer good time. I'm spending most of the weekend in Austin with my best friend for a penis drama free weekend. Forewarning before you delve into this post.. There is some foul language (shocker there... but it's more than normal) and some general crazy-cake behavior. There are 2 sides to every story. This is my side.

I say penis drama free because, let me tell you blogosphere... Someone in my life has recently been sippin on the cray cray kool aid. There is a guy... Who shall remain nameless.. He and I dated briefly in high school and we were broken up by our my family. I was around 14, nearly 15. First real boyfriend. I loved him, blah blah blah. I was an idiot teenager with no concept of what love really meant (sometimes I still wonder if I have a clue). Needless to say, lots of unresolved issues and unfinished business between him and I.

Fast forward a few years... I broke up with my first fiance and dabbled in online dating. Why not? So I come across someone that's pretty cute and seems like a nice guy. Message sent! Guess who? Blast from the past. So he and I talked and blah blah for a while. He wanted to get back with me, try it again, etc... Ok cool. I'm single, lets try. Then he pulls some crazy and I met James. Going along once a month or so while I was still with James, Crazy Pants McGee would IM, Skype or text me and try to get me to leave James and be with him. Didn't happen.

That brings us to recent times. Obviously James and I broke up... Not because of anyone on the outside, but we were done. Crazy Pants McGee catches wind of the break up (I think I may have told him, not my smartest move). So he's back on his hot pursuit for me and my fine ass. I entertain the idea, maybe he's gotten more stable, not as much of a cukoo bird. WRONG! I got some messages last weekend that would curl some toes. He's telling me how lonely and depressed he and and he's thinking about suicide. Being trained in suicide prevention measures (and how to tell if someone is really planning or just being a drama queen) I start questioning him. He shuts down. Through our conversation I can tell that he's being manipulative, so I give him space and don't text or call him.

He tries to get me to come to his apartment last night... He lives in Austin. I live about an hour north of him. #1 I'm not interested in your manipulative, crazy ass. #2 If I was, I would not haul my ass out of bed at 11pm on a work night to come out to Austin. I am an adult with responsibilities. He was so stubborn about this! He refused to see that I can't work on minimal sleep and that I have shit to do that doesn't involve me kissing someone's ass. I cannot cater to someone's crazy whims. He calls me and gets PISSED and starts completely attacking my character and calling me FABULOUS names. Needless to say I hung up on his crazy self...

What do I want from life?
I want a significant other that isn't CRAZY, CLINGY, or WITH MOMMY ISSUES! Homeskillet has all three of the traits I don't want! (Did I mention that he called me clingy?? Seriously.Me. Clingy.)

Plus, not really ready to date right now.. And when I do get ready, I've already got my eye on someone. He's cute, sweet, so amazingly nice, and he thinks I'm the sexiest thang on 2 feet. Sweet!

So... No Crazy Pants McGee... I'm not coming over, I'm not sleeping with you, and you can take a pineapple and shove it where the sun don't shine!!!!!

Bend over...

I'm actually pretty proud of myself for standing up to him. Normally I would have caved. Not this time... Sammie isn't the same stupid 15 year old girl you had goo goo eyes for.

NSV Link Up: Goal Style

Goooood morning my sweet loves! It's Thursday!!! Meaning 2 things... #1 It's a NSV Link Up Day!!!! And #2 Tomorrow is Friday! I'm really excited about this weekend. SUPER FREAKIN EXCITED!! So many plans :) I'll be sure to post pictures on Monday. Let's just say, some things around here are going to get shorter!

So... On to my Non Scale Victories for the week..

My NSVs focus around my realization of my actual goals for my life. Yesterday I touched on what I want as far as life in general. Since I try to keep my NSVs fitness related, I spent some time contemplating on what exactly my fitness goals are.. I've come to realize that my goals aren't about getting down to a certain size, or really a certain weight for that matter.This is the list I've come up with:

-I want to be able to run a 5K without wanting to die... Or vomit...

-I want to be able to get through an entire yoga DVD without having to rest or modify the poses.

-I want to be more comfortable in my own skin.

The last one is probably the biggest hurdle, but it's also the goal that I'm working on the hardest. I have a wonderful friend that never hesitates to tell me how amazing and beautiful I am. He even had me send him a picture when I thought I looked my worst (just waking up, puffy eyes, drool, frizzy ginger poodle hair, still in the throws of sleepy grumpiness) and told me that even at MY perceived worst, I was still very pretty.

 

Isn't he sweet?

With his talks and coaching, I'm slowly starting to beleive what he's saying. I don't look in the mirror and pick myself apart anymore. Instead I admire what I see. I see the curve of my waist and the fact that I do have an hourglass shape. I can see the subtle differences that the running and squats are making in my legs. I want to be stronger, not skinnier.

This all links into a quote that someone posted in a forum on MyFitnessPal this morning. Immediately after reading, I shared it on my personal Facebook, this blog's Facebook and I knew I would link it into my post here. I found it very moving.

"It doesn't make sense to call ourselves ugly because we don't really see ourselves. We don't watch ourselves sleeping in bed, curled up and silent. With chests rising and falling with our own rhythm. We don't see ourselves reading a book, eyes fluttering and glowing. You don't see yourself looking at someone with care inside your heart. There's no mirror in your way when you're laughing and smiling and happiness is leaking out of you. You would know exactly how bright and beautiful you are if you saw yourself in the moments where you are truly beautiful." Author Unknown

What Do You Want?

What do you want? How can I help you? What is it that you need? These are questions that I ask myself on a daily basis. What do you want for breakfast? What do you need to make your job easier? What do you want out of life?

That's the question of the decade.

This is a question that my best friend, Ellie, and I discussed last night. For the sake of her privacy I won't say what she wants. Some Most of the stuff is pretty private and her business to let the world in on. What I will talk about, however, is my stuff.. What I want with my life.

When I started this blog, it was supposed to be nothing but happy weight loss festivities. Then it evolved into something more than that. This blog is as close to being me as you can get without actually touching me. I don't hide anything, and if I'm uncomfortable discussing something I'll say so. Likely if this happens, I will open up about it on a later date. When being honest with myself, it means being honest on the blog as well. I've made some amazing self discoveries while typing in this little box and clicking publish so that the world can see what I think. This is one of those serious, self discovery posts.

Like I've said a freakin billion several times before... Chunky isn't a body shape for me, it's a state of mind. The journey from Chunky to Funky is more about transforming my mind and spirit than transforming my body... Yes, weight will be lost. Yes, health will be gained. I want, more than anything to feel better about myself as a person, no matter my size. I love the NSV and Spring Training Link Ups, because they focus on something more than weight. Funky is healthy, happy, and peaceful. Funky is what I want to be. Happy with myself, happy with others, happy with life.

For once in my life...

Getting back to what I want... Ellie and I were talking about what exactly we want with our futures. We are around the same age (me= nearly 24 her= newly 27) and both kind of stuck in a rut. She's made the recent discovery that she HATES her career and I can't get mine to actually start. We both recently broke up with our fiances and we are both looking very closely at graduate school (for the same thing, no less). We are both open to the idea of being single, but I do eventually want to find a relationship. I'm talking to a very dear friend of mine at the moment, and we've discussed the possibility of pursuing something more than friendship. It's just not time for that at the moment. I want to be single and have my head clear. Thankfully he's completely ok with that. We also live 2.5 hours apart. Damn you distance.

In the grand scheme of things.. I know that these are some of the things that I want:

• I want to eventually spend the rest of my life with someone.
• I want a person to be my significant other that isn't crazy (like bad crazy), clingy, or with mommy issues. I want to be your girlfriend/wife, not your mother.
• I want to go to graduate school. Books are my thing. Time to make them a career. Masters in Library Science, here I come!
• I want to experiment with my likes and dislikes when it comes to... Well... BOW CHICKA WOW WOW.. If you are curious, no I'm not sexually confused.. I'm as straight as the pole your momma dances on, I just have very limited experience when it comes to things...
• I want to travel. Like... Haul my ass to Europe and all over the States... There's so much I've never seen.
• I don't want to plan a stupid wedding. The thought of myself in a poofy white dress and my best friends as cookie cutter bridesmaids makes me a little... Queasy... If I find the person I'm supposed to marry, then he and I will go to Vegas... No plans for me thanks...

I don't know a whole lot about my future... It's all very fuzzy to me at the moment, but amongst the fuzzy is brightness. My future is so bright, I gotta wear shades...

Spring Training 5K Challenge! Mission: Badonkadonk

Hello my dears! Welcome to another installment of the Spring Training 5K Link Up! I pretty much adore this link up. I just recently (past few months) started exercising and this is a great way to stay accountable! Plus we are all running/walking/elliptical-ing/biking/shuffling a 5K together on June 1st!

This weekend was actually pretty good for me in the way of fitness. Fit-nasty. Bam. Sorry.. I'm in an odd mood today. I'm somewhere in between a state of euphoria and exhaustion. Sleep was fitfull last night. Odd dreams about people I've never met in person before (but that's a story for another time). I can't say that they were bad dreams, in fact most were quite good (if you know what I mean!). They just made me wake up a lot :-/

Time to windex the mirror... Dog noses..

Anyhizzle... On to the fit-nasty talks... I finished Week 3 Day 1 of C25K on Sunday night. And let me tell you... I thought I was going to die. During week 3 you do a 5 minute warm up walk, then 90 sec of running, 90 sec of walking, 3 min running, 3 min walking, and repeat. The you end with a 5 minute cool down. Let me tell you... 90 seconds of running? No sweat. I got that shit.. 3 minutes? I was pretty sure my lard ass was going to pass out. I didn't stop though... Nope.. I kept moving my turtle speed bum and finished. BAM!

Last night was a "rest day" for C25K, so I changed up my routine a little.. I hopped on my elliptical for a 7 minute warm up, then I walked for 14 minutes (about a mile). I did throw in a small smattering of running here and there, but it was a good walk for the most part. The I put on my crazy hat... I decided that I would take on the beast..

30 Day Squat Challenge

Is she even wearing drawers?? That's nasty... Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

Last night wasn't so bad... I did 2 sets of 25 squats with some sweet dance moves separating the sets. I'm pretty sure my neighbors think I'm on a hallucenogenic drug binge, but whatever. Can't hold my epileptic seizures sweet moves. I think the odd part is the lack of soreness today... I'm a little sore, but not really. I have some really odd soreness in my hip/abdomen area... Like the place where my pelvis and my abdoment meet.. Like up high.. It's an awkward area to have sore.

One of my biggest goals is do have a butt.. Like a real badonkadonk. I want a booty that would make Beyonce say, "Dayum." (If you follow me on Instagram, you've heard that line before... If you don't follow, you should! User name: fromchunkytofunky). My account is protected, but most everyone that requests I will let follow! I know that squats are one way to help you tone and perfect your epic lady lumps. I want to be a whooty... For those of you who don't know what a Whooty is, feast your eyes:

Something for me to ponder on today..

 

Monday Weigh In and Easter Reflections

Good morning darlings! I hope you all had a FANTASTIC Easter weekend :) I got to spend lots of time with my family. The food was amazing (of course) and I ate a ton of veggies. Woot woot! I also got 2 good C25K runs in this weekend! One on Friday night and one last night. My water intake has been the suck as of late. Not a pretty picture..

So.. As always, it's my Monday morning weigh in!! Yeah buddy! I was really anxious last night about weighing in today. I worked my butt off last week and was really hoping to have some success to show for the effort... And boy did I!! Not only did I drop the 3 pounds that I gained, but I dropped 6 additional pounds!! 6!!

YES! Almost in the 250s!!!

This brings me to a total of 30 pounds gone! 30!! Holy cow!

I'm excited! 30 pounds... I never ever thought I could do that..I haven't taken any pictures yet, but maybe today. I finally got a new mirror for my bedroom, so I can see.. I'll do a before and after in the same outfit, just to look at progress.

Part of my post today is Easter reflections... Sundays are a little rough for me.. Sundays were the days that I would always spend the day with James. Now that we aren't together, I haven't been keeping the routine. It's difficult. Very difficult. I haven't established a routine for myself on Sundays yet, so the sadness seems to be able to whack me over the head when I least expect it.

It's more of a loneliness than a sadness I suppose. I surround myself with amazing friends and my supportive family, but sometimes it's not enough. I miss the companionship that comes with being in a relationship. However, I have no immediate plans to be in a relationship any time soon. It's time to focus on me. I need to be a little selfish at the moment and learn to love myself. How can I love others if I don't first love myself?

I've never been a relationship jumper... I had a string of short term BFs in High School, then I was single for 3-ish years. Then I started dating the butt and was engaged to him for nearly 4 years. Broke that off, single for a few months then started dating James. Broke that off about 1.5 years into it. It seems that in my adult life, I'm tunring into one of those jumpers. I don't want to. I don't want to jump. I want to be happy and single and not have to share my blankets or worry about someone other than Molly. I don't want to be tied down to one person right now. I want to date, meet people, go out and shamelessly flirt, shamelessly flirt with the AV maintenance guy that visits me in the library. I love being single...

At least he won't steal my blankets... Bastard...

But I miss it... I miss the attachment. I miss the feeling of closeness. I miss having someone to harrass at all uungodly hours of the day and night. Sure, I have friends. I have the greatest friends on the face of the planet. I constantly talk to them. Hell I'm sure there are days that they want me to STFU and GTFO. It's different though. Having a significant other is different than just having a friend.

It really sounds like I want to have my cake and eat it too... (Tangent: Who in the hell came up with that saying?? Doesn't it make sense to eat cake if you have it?? Who wants cake to go stale? What am I supposed to do with the cake? Look at it? Seriously...) I want the security of a relationship with the freedom of singledom. I'm a complicated woman...