Non Scale Victories!

Welcome to another fun filled Non Scale Victories!! I LOVE THIS LINK UP!! Here at From Chunky to Funky we (as in ME! and my dog of course) fully beleive that the little number on the scale SHOULD NOT define your successes! Sure, its a great tracker, but the number does not define you or your victories! This link up happens every Thursday with the Kick-Ass Katie (or KJT) and the Lovely Lex! You can find Lex here and Katie here!

So... My victory of the week? Logging for 15 days straight! YE-AH! I've used MFP several times in the past and I've always given up by day 3 or 4... Too much work, no time, excuse, excuse. I've stuck with it! (Add me! I love MFP friends!! Dramallamaduck)

I also managed to get over my bronchitis and get some time in on the elliptical! I am definitely a member of the Red Face Club. I'm still a bit sore from the lunges and squats I did, but it was alllll worth it.

Red hair and a face to match.

I was going to try again last night, but Mom and I wound up taking my great-grandma to the ER. Her CHF was acting up and she has pneumonia. I only got about 4 hours of ZZZZZs last night. Dead women walking...and driving....and teaching... Awesome.

What are your victories this week? Nothing is too big or too small :)

Let Your Nerd Flag Fly!

I am absolutely the world's biggest nerd. Harry Pottter, Doctor Who, Sci-Fi, dystopian novels, wizards, zombies, etc... When I saw the picture below, water came out of my nose from laughter... (Also a HUGE, but closeted fan of hip-hop. I work out to some raunchy stuff.)  This was one of my favorite scenes from POA. I love Alan Rickman and thnk his Severus Snape was fantastical. For those of you confused, this is actually a boggart (it transforms into your worst fear). The way to defeat a boggart is with laughter. So Neville (who is scared of Snape) pictured him in his grandmother's normal attire in order to defeat the boggart. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some thrift shopping to do... Poppin' tags!

Damn, yous a sexy Snape

All joking aside... I woke up feeling amazing this morning. I had a little soreness in my muscles from my elliptical run and the killer cramps I got last night (on the front of my leg!! like my shin!!). I also felt lighter.. It was an odd feeling. Not like a "I'm floating/light headed" feeling... Like a "huh.. I think I've lost" feeling. It was awesome sauce. I may have a second post later with a updated picture.I'm very curious. I will weigh in tonight at my great grandma's house when I go to clean. I'm extremely nervous about what the scale is going to say... I just have to remember:

Have a good Wednesday blogosphere! Stay out of trouble :)

P.S. Any ideas on how to prevent leg cramps? I'm drinking a TON of water... Any other suggestions?

-Sammie

What did the five fingers say to the temptation?

That's right Chick Fil A... Your delicious, warm chicken minis called my name this morning like a siren's song. We even had an extra order in the bag. Oops. You wanted me to eat you. I know you did. Your minis and your hashbrowns too... Well guess what Chick Fil A... SLAP!

Jimmy Dean sends his best regards...

In all seriousness... This is a big deal for me. Chick Fil A is like my own personal brand of crack. I freakin love Chick Fil A. In college, one of my favorite things to eat for lunch was a Chick Fil A sammich, waffle fries and a smoothie (looking back, is it any wonder that I gained 100+ pounds?). 

This morning I made my yummy Jimmy Dean turkey sausage sammich (yes that spelling is on purpose!) and I was craving a little sweet. In the interest of time, I had some vanilla yogurt. Of course I also had my bottle of water (along with my antibiotic). My carrots, granola bars, and Special K meal bar were packed and ready. On the way to work, Mom pulls into Chick Fil A and says, "I'm starving.. What do you want?" Crap on toast. What do I want?? Well, I really want an order of those minis and a spicy chicken biscut and some hashbrowns. BUT I DIDN'T ORDER THAT!!! Instead I asked for my normal lg Coke Zero and nothing else!

Yes Mr. Murray... I'm awesome!

How have you dodged temptation recently? (Remember, celebrate the small.. Every small step leads to a big step!)

-Sammie

But what does it all mean??

Good morning everyone! Thank you all for the well wishes this weekend :) With some rest, lots of fluids, and plenty of ZZZs I'm back and in good shape! The only thing I have left of the bronchitis is a little nagging cough, but everything else is long gone.

The title of the post might be a bit confusing at first.. So I will explain here. When I ask that question, I'm referring to the number on the scale. At my urgent care appointment this weekend, I was weighed and found that I was down another 1.3 pounds! Woot! This would bring my total weight to 286.2. Not too shabby, eh?

So yesterday, I went to check on my great-grandma (she has the same crud everyone else does). For S's and G's (sh!ts and giggles for the curious) I stepped on her scale (the one I normally weigh myself on) and 281.4 popped up. Say what, chicken butt? Are you serious? How in de hell did that happen??

I will say that I didn't eat much on Satuday after my appointment. In fact, I ate less than 1200 cals. Bad llama, I know! My Fitness Pal (add me! dramallamaduck) griped at me. I just don't think that would cause a 5 POUND LOSS. That just doesn't compute in my brain. Not to mention, I sat on my kiester all day. How does that happen? I was also VERY well hydrated, so I don't think it was a loss of water.

I'm not putting much stock in that weight. Call it a fluke, faulty scales, whatever. I'll reweigh on Wednesday and see what it says. But what does it all mean? What does that little number even mean anyway? That loss completely blew my mind.

I leave you today with a fantastic picture one of my Facebook friends shared this morning. Sums up the journey quite nicely, methinks.

Until nextime blogoshpere!

-Sammie

P.S. I'm linked up today with Alex from Operation Skinny Jeans!

Health Update

Hola blogosphere. Just a quick and messy update... Went to urgent care this morning and was diagnosed with bronchitis. YUCK! No fun at all.

Most of today and tomorrow will be spent sleeping, reading and hydrating. Have to be back in shape for work on Monday.

Time for sleep again. Night night blogosphere.

Cheers!

Still hacking.. Still coughing.. Still a tad feverish.. I'm pretty sure that a piece of my lung just landed on my book... Thank God for cough drops, I would be miserable (more than I am already) wihtout them.. I would really like for this sickness to pass. I want to get back on my elliptical.

Oh well.. It's the weekend!

My plans include plenty of sleep, shenanigans and (hopefully) kicking this virus thing so I can hang out with the fiance on Sunday.

What do you have planned??

-P.S Shout out to all my new followers! How's it going ladies (and gentlemen)?

2 Post in a DAY?

The only reason I write this is to bring your attention to the FABULOUSNESS that is my new blog! Holy guacamole! This blog has been brought to you by the beautiful Natalie over at Beauty and Brains with Brown Eyes!

Natalie is one of my best heifers girlfriends from college! We lived together for a year, then I graduated (whomp whomp). She is probably one of my biggest supporters through this journey I've set out on. This is the girl who saw me through the chunky, and will be there at the end waiting for the funky!

Before one of our MANY Aggie Football games together!

This is what love looks like!

Waiting for dinner before our college formal!

Thanks for the completely amazing blog facelift!! And you're welcome for posting the cross eyed picture :-p

Non Scale Victories Link Up!

It's that time again! Time for a Non Scale Victories Link up with the lovely ladies Katie and Lex. I did this link up last week and it was so much fun, I thought I'd link it up again!

I have 2 non scale victories today! #1 I actually got on my elliptical on Monday night! I was able to go about 15 minutes, which isn't much in the grand scheme.. It was HUGE for me though. I haven't done any sort of REAL cardio workout in a long time. My goal was to get back on Tuesday and Wednesday, but that didn't happen. Tuesday I didn't get home until 9:30pm and Wednesday (yesterday) I started coming down with this awesome virus.

Which brings me to victory #2. I actually got out of bed this morning! I feel terrible at the moment and I'm pretty sure I have a low grade fever. The bad thing is, I can't afford to miss work. I get paid by the day and I really can't afford to miss out on $80 today. So I trudge through the day, popping DayQuil and Motrin like it's candy. The good news is that I should be much better by the weekend.

What are your victories for the week blogosphere?

At My Heaviest...

Because I feel like utter CRAP today (funky stomach gurlging and headache coming from the depths of Hell itself), I'm going to keep it short, sweet, and to the point. Below you will find a picture of me at my 21st birthday party with one of my really close guy friends... Here is where I weighed in at a whopping 321 pounds. I didn't realize how bad it had gotten until my friend Natalie showed me this picture. Sad eh?

This is a picture of me now.. Awkward angle, but whatevs.. I was excited to show my friend Richard the killer deal I was getting on the jeans!

It takes a little bit of eyeballing, but I can definitely see the changes... Especially in my face.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a hot date with some Pepto and a Sprite. Adios blogosphere.

Rough Weekend

I've been sitting here, staring at this screen for about 2 hours trying to figure out how to put my weekend into words. I suppose I should start off with a story as to why my weekend was rough...

About 6 weeks ago I went to see a doctor about getting back on an antidepressant. I wasn't able to get in to see my PCP, so I settled for another doctor hoping to get some relief. I went in and explained my situation and that I knew I had depression and I wanted to be medicated for it.

Side Note: I am typically well educated on my own medical issues. I do my research and ask questions to clarify my own understanding. I never claim to know more than the doctors, but I do know my body better than anyone else.

The doctor I saw has the nerve/audacity/bawls/cajones/whatever you call it to blame my depression on the fact that I'm fat. He also went along to say that I would be fine if I would just go ahead and get some exercise daily. "Some exercise and a better diet with completely get rid of that depression." Yeah... Great thinking Sherlock... While I do acknowledge that exercise will boost your serotonin levels and cause an increase in mood (thank you neuroscience classes), I am aware that it will not be a cure for all of the issues.  After some raised eyebrows and begging, I got my pills and instructions to follow up in a month.

2 weeks ago I call in a refill and I am informed that my Prozac was not given any refills... So I've been without pills for about a week and a half. Being on an antidepressant and suddenly coming off is NO fun. I try to be casual and upbeat on here, but sometimes I'm a complete mess. This weekend was no exception. The smallest things made me sob or made me angry. I slept until 9 on Saturday and 8:30 on Sunday (normally I'm out of bed around 7:15 on weekends, 6:00 on weekdays), and could not bring myself to do anything productive. It was very difficult. Luckily yesterday (no work, thanks to President's Day) I was able to get into see my PCP and get a year's worth of refills and a bit higher dose. I'm not back 100%, but I'm doing better than expected!

This Is My Story...

How's about a HUGE FCTF welcome to all my fabulous new followers! I look forward to reading about your NSV from our link up!

Since some of you have no idea who I am or what I do, please allow me to do a long winded little introduction!

I'm Sammie (Hi Sammie!) and I've been a big girl for my entire life.

Red Hair Don't Care

I've never, ever been thin. I was teased about this (unmercifully) in junior high by some girls that I was stupid enough to think thought were my friends. (Cue sad music for my bruised ego here.) High school was great! Difficult, but great. I worked and had some pretty amazing friends. I was #3 in my class and president of the FFA chapter. During high school, I sustained an injury to one of my knees that has made me clumsier than the average bear. As a result of my injury I have 3 screws and a wire mesh in my knee, along with a limp and some gnarly looking scars. This injury makes any sort of physical exertion a challenge. I start to ache and I'm hella unstable on my leg.

I went on to graduate HS, and wound up at the GREATEST university on the face of this planet, Texas A&M. There I met some of the best friends a girl could ask for, Natalie and Brittany. I also started dating a jackass guy (who shall remain nameless in order to protect the asshats of the world). I wasn't terribly BIG when I started college... I weighed in around 220, so not as big as I am now. College took its toll, along with being with a guy with a very specific fetish for women getting fat. It's called feederism. He got off on watching women eat themselves to the point of sickness. Every time I tried to start exercising or eating healthier, he would guilt me into stopping. About 3 years and 100 pounds later, I said ENOUGH and joined weight watchers at 321 pounds about 3 weeks before my college graduation. (For those interested, I also dumped said asshat about 3 months later).

Going along with WW I managed to get myself down to around 260. 60 pounds lost! I quit WW (finances of being a fresh college grad with no job=the suck)and creeped back up to around 270 and stayed there for about 2 years. This brings me to present day. I lost my job and moved back in with my parents. On a steady diet of fast food breakfast, depression binging, and deep fried whatever I shot back up to 290.4 lbs.

It's been a hard process to start, but I'm slowly relearning how to recognize what my body needs without pumping it full of nasties. I try to eat a healhty breakfast every day, drink more water than soda, and take the stairs at work. I am fully aware that it's going to be a very hard road ahead, but I'm willing to work it. My ultimate goal would be to get down to around 160 pounds. Until then, I will do my damnedest to keep updating.. Good, bad and ugly.. Peace out dear blogosphere.

Non Scale Victories Link Up!

Hola blogosphere! Welcome to my very first link up with Katie and Lex and we are celebrating the week's non-scale victories!

The object of this link up is the celebrate something we've accomplished in the path to healthier living, wihtout focusing on that dastardly number on the scale. This can be an accomplishment in exercise, diets, or maybe just the power of positive thinking.

My victory of the week is the fact that I have managed to eat a good, healthy breakfast every day! I've had either fruit, a Special K Bar or a Jimmy Dean Delight every day. No Sonic toaster sammiches, no Chick Fil A minis, no tater tots, no Whataburger. No fast food breakfasts! And another part of the victory? Mom has been eating at home with me! I've been watching my intakes on My Fitness Pal (be my friend dramallamaduck) and I've had some not so awesome days, I've had some really good days too! Celebrate the small stuff my dear blogosphere.. Small victories, small steps, big results!

Tears in my eyes..

My dear blogosphere.. I write this to you with tears pooling in my eyes and sniffles clawing at my nose. I just read one of the nicest blog posts that I've seen in a very long time. You can find it over here at Mama Laughlin. It's a letter to a big girl that she sees at her gym.

One of the reasons I haven't yet joined a gym (aside from the obvious living in the boondocks) is that I'm deathly scared of exposing that much of myself in a public setting. Those who know me, know that I'm....busty. Like... Specialty store bra busty. It's not cute, it's obnoxiious. Of course on top of the ladies, I have lots of chunk.. 290 pounds worth of chunk...

I rarely wear shorts in public and the thought of wearing ANYTHING sleeveless or cap sleeved makes my skin crawl. When I do wear shorts to do anything resembling a workout, they are men's basketball shorts. I don't own any cute capris or workout pants, and if I did, I probably would be far too embarrassed to wear them in public. Even when I was going to Zumba, I would wear my giant shirts and baggy shorts.

I also have been stared at, whispered about and laughed at... I'm not the most graceful girl ever, in fact I'm down right clumsy. Walking for me is sometimes a challenge with the clumsy and the bum knee. When I jog it feels like my leg is going to give out and it looks completely ridiculous. I would absolutely love to run or jog. Even when walking in the neighborhood, I feel the stares and hear the giggles. It's also not funny to honk, cat call, or slow down in your car.

There's so much I actually want to do... And so little I feel able to do...

Thankful..

I think I'm starting a new thing... Thankful Tuesdays.. Do you have something you're thankful for? I know I have lots to be thankful for, even though I whine, complain and bitch about things.

So what am I thankful for?

*Encouraging words from my dear Natalie over at Beauty and Brains with Brown Eyes. We were roommates in college and have seen each other through some of our highest highs and lowest lows. She read my blog yesterday about the suck known as eating healthy and offered me some super helpful tips!

*A student came into the library this morning and asked, "Hey miss! How's my beautiful ginger doing today?" He's a sweet kid and kind words are always a good thing on a bad hair day!

*Special K meal bars.. I was really skeptical when I opened that thing this morning. How in the hell is something so small supposed to keep me full? Surprise! It works. I'm not eating the paint off the walls yet :-) And it tasted good!

Remember blogosphere... When life looks like it couldn't crap on your good shoes anymore, there is always a little something to be thankful for. What are you thankful for today?

This Whole Healthy Eating Thing....

SUCKS! Seriously..

I decided to be a good girl and have the Chick Fil A fruit bowl for breakfast this morning. Sounds good, right? NOT! Holy moly... I ate breakfast around 7:30 and I'M BLOODY STARVING! Like I have a headache, my stomach hurts hungry. This can't be right.. Or am I that much of a lard ass?

I'm thinking a trip to the grocery store is in order... That way I can get snacky stuff and healthy breakfast stuff. Breakfast has become a difficult part of my day, thanks to a bombshell dropped on me this morning.. Apparently my barely over minimum wage job makes me qualified to buy my own breakfast at these expensive lovely fast food places that we eat at every morning. Yes, because I have an extra $25 a week to spend on greasy ass calorie filled breakfast fare (however I may have to set aside $10 a week for my giant sized Coke Zero habit).

Maybe we should eat breakfast at home I says, no time they says. Bleh. It's time for me to actually roll my ass out of bed at 6am (instead of snoozing my alarm) and make food that's not icky. And maybe will keep me full. And maybe it's time for a store trip for snacks that I can take to work? All I know is that if I have many more days like this, the desk I'm sitting at will not be safe from being eating...

Books, Books, Books

As of late, I've been subbing in a high school library. One of the things that I've wanted to do is get back into reading like I used to. When I was younger (late elemetary school) I always had a book in my hand. I won numerous awards for most books read (we didn't have AR tests back then) and I often was a member of the 600 Minutes Reading Club. The 600 Minutes Club gave free tickets to Six Flags to the students that logged 600 minutes of reading time in a month's time. Even as early as 2nd grade I was able to join this club.

As I progressed into junior high I turned into your typical JH girl... Boys, clothes, friends and general pre-teen girl idiocy began to outweigh my love of reading. These habits followed me through junior high, high school, and through the first year or so of college. Then I met my dear wifey, Britt. She's not really my wife.. She was my roommate my sophomore/junior year in college. She is the absolute, ultimate book nerd. Thanks to her, I found my love of books again. It started off slow, maybe a book a month or so (I was still a college student, after all). I graduated college in May of 2010 and slipped on my reading again. I was consumed with the desire to find a job and hopefully move out of my parent's house.

Fast forward to October 2011... I am living on my own, dating a book worm and I'm slowly becoming BFFs with another bibliophile who recommends I read the Harry Potter series. I finished all 7 books in about 3 weeks. I'm back. A raging bibliomaniac with a thirst for new and exciting adventures in the form of print on pages. I have a Goodreads account that I update almost daily. Working in a library has its perks! My most recent read is Divergent by Veronica Roth. It's similar in style and genre to The Hunger Games trilogy. I love dystopian fiction!

Reflections Pt. 2

More reflections musings on my post about reflections (see what I did there?).


It's amazing the power that one reflection can have over your entire day. Reflections even have the power to alter moods. I'm not talking strictly about negative reactions, reflections can cause positive changes in mood, but only if you have the cajones to train yourself to have that positive reaction.

It's all a matter of having the courage to look at that reflection and say, "damn she fine" rather than the typical reaction of "ugh, nasty ass heifer." It takes a hell of a lot more balls to praise yourself than it does to tear yourself down.

I, personally, do not have 1/10th of the nutz it takes to look at myself and say, "heeeeey sexy lady!" Negative. Nope. I don't like looking in mirrors, or windows, or shiny cars. It's nearly unbareable for me to watch while I brush my teeth. I've also mastered the art of brushing my hair without a mirror and I do not wear make up. Why in the hell would I want to stare at myself for that long?!

This is something that I'm going to have to fix. No amount of diet and exercise can undo the self loathing that's been engrained in my psyche for years. This is something that is probably going to require professional help. Oh freaking yay...

Reflections

Reflections are dastardly little creatures. I'm not talking about introspection or reflections on life, love, blah, blah, blah.. Nope. Reflections in mirrors, reflections in windows, reflections in waxed, shiny cars that make you look and say, "who in the hell is that cow looking at me in the mirror/window/shiny car?" "Wait, that's me? Shit." Those reflections, my friends, are the objects of my wrath today.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection a couple days ago in the window of my dad's office. My immediate thought was (no censoring here), "holy shit I've gained weight. Freakin fat ass." It was a smash to the ego that I really didn't need want. I suppose I did need it. I knew that I've been eating like complete crap lately (damn you cute little Girl Scouts with your crack cookies!) and I'm not exercising... Like ever.

I haven't stepped on the scale since that doctor's appointment (which is a whole different story, dumbass MD). I really haven't wanted to and after seeing my reflection I sure as hell don't intend to anytime soon. It did however, spark a small change in me. Since I saw my reflection, I haven't eaten anymore delicious little crack cookies, I've switched my Cheetos for Baked Lays, and I'm laying off the deep fried potato-y goodness at breakfast.

Small steps sparked by a reflection. Small steps my dear blogosphere...