Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Paradigm Shift

When I started From Chunky to Funky, things were much different in my life. I had a job that I adored, I lived on my own (later adding a fiancé), I cooked all my own food, and I knew exactly where my life was going and how I was going to get there...

As the saying goes, "You make plans, God laughs." I was "terminated" (which is a kind way of saying fired) from my position at school. Not that I'm really complaining... Did they have reason to fire me? No. Their reasonings were all completely insane/petty/unfounded (plus I was also able to rebuttal most of them with corrective action and lack of administrative support). Alas, I was canned. I wish I could say that I was upset about this, but I wasn't. Quite the opposite actually. I was upset that I couldn't pay my bills, but I HATED my job. I missed being an actual teacher and my administration... Well... They SUCKED. But this isn't the place for me to rant about asshats... Losing the income meant moving back home, into the bedroom I grew up in. It also meant awkward convos with my car loan people and my bank and it meant that James had to move back with his mother. Ugh.

So, needless to say it's about time to redefine FCTF. To me now, chunky isn't just the state of my body.. Chunky is a state of being. Emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Chunky is the sadness of missing my fiancé, chunky is the feelings of loss and failure, chunky is my daily being. The paradigm is being shifted. This is no longer a weight loss journey. This is a journey to a better life; to a life that I actually enjoy waking up in. FCTF is my journey. My life. My struggle. My ups and downs.

Normally I don't get this deep on here.. That's going to change. This is my place to be able to post thoughts without my nitpicking father dissecting my every word. This is my place to rant, rave, cry , and rejoice. Join me, won't you?

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