Quarter Century

Today is my big 2-5...

Yep, I'm 25 years old today. Holy crap. I think today is the day that I'm officially an adult. It feels so weird.

To update briefly on how things are going.... My grandma is really sick. In September she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. In the last 2 weeks she has really gone down hill. She is no longer able to walk, her bowels are shutting down, and she's so weak. I really think the end is very near. It makes me so sad to know that I'm close to such a milestone in my life and so close to losing someone that's so important to me.

Cara Box Reveal!

So... I'm a bit of a dunce...

I forget to do the most basic, everyday tasks.. Like check my mail. I have to actually go to the post office, so unless I drive by, I don't even think about it. 

That's why my blog is late. It took me a bit to check my mail... And once I checked it, I got distracted by something shiny and forgot to take pics and post. Oops. 

So... Here is my box from the lovely lovely Sydney! I am OBSESSED with the journal! It's definitely going in a safe place :) oh and the soap is all natural and made from goat's milk! How effin cool is that!! Thanks Sydney! You're awesome sauce!!

I'm still here!

Howdy lovlies!!

I'm still here... Promise... Waitressing is, surprisingly, quite an exhausting job! I'm still absolutely loving it though :)

I've got several posts in the works.. I'm working on them as I get time. I'm also hoping to do my Cara Box reveal sometime soon!

Until next time loves!

-Sammie

P.S. Want to follow more of my day to day? Follow me on Instagram! fromchunkytofunky is the name and random pictures are my game!

Laters Baby

Howdy my darlings! I've missed you so! It feels like it's been FOREVER since I've posted. I know I've published a couple from my phone, and I'm still working on replying to your comments. Thank you all so much for the wonderful words of encouragement after my trippy binge last week. It took some time, but I think I'm mentally healed from it. It sucked for a while and I felt like shit, but I am over it and moving on.

My weekend was 100% uneventful. I really didn't do anything except work and sleep. I was also completely boyfriend-less for the weekend. Carlos went to A-Kon in Dallas from Thursday to Sunday and left his phone at home. So I didn't hear from him until this afternoon. He said he had a good time, but he's not going again next year. The people that throw the convention moved it to a new hotel, which made prices for stuff go through the roof.

Did I mention that he said he missed me like crazy?! Woo!

He's also having some troubles at home. Poor guy. I really don't want to put his business out on my blog, but if you pray, please say a quick one for him. His family is driving him BSC.

I'm really excited for Wednesday.. It's my next day off, meaning I get to go running! I want to do some kind of exercise on my days off, but it's too damn hot in the daylight and I'm a bum that works the evening shift.

I've recently started re-reading the 50 Shades of Grey books. Why not? It's an intriguing topic and one that I've thought about exploring some. There's a fine line between pleasure and pain... Sometimes I like to pick that line up and skip rope with it :)

Laters Baby!

I've Been MIA...

Good morning my darling readers.. I have to say that I've missed you so! I haven't had the time to sit down and type anything, much less actually put together a blog post that has some semblance of cohesiveness. Let's just say that I've been busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest!

 For the last two days I've been in a classroom that has driven me to the edge of insanity and Spartan kicked my ass off the ledge kept me on my toes. Never in my life have I given up on a class and said, "Screw it! Let them peel the paint off the walls and eat it. Don't bloody care anymore." It was ugly. One of the periods was actually REALLY good and helped me practice my Spanish skills. I explained in broken Spanish/English that my boyfriend (HOW AWESOME IS THAT WORD?! AHHHH) is Puerto Rican and his parent's first language is Spanish. I want to be able to talk to them more, so I'm really busting it trying to learn.

I also started my new job at Denny's this weekend... Let me tell you... IT'S AWESOME!! I'm still just training, but I'm in L-O-V-E! Both of my trainers have commented that I've picked it up quick and that they are really impressed with me. Score! Finally something I'm good at! But I have to make my book look cute.. Right now it's just boring and black and I don't like it.

I have noticed that I've been eating like SHIT for the last few weeks. It came crashing down on me last night after dinner. I was bloated, miserable, and just down right crabby. Mom commented to the effect, "You were so much more pleasant to be around when you were eating right." You know what?

Reality-1 Sammie-0

It doesn't help that my lovely Auntie Flo decided to make her visit A BLOODY WEEK (no pun intended) EARLY! Bitch. No wonder I was such a joy and delight last week... She's also been wrecking havoc on one of my relationships too. (Have I mentioned that Lady Shark Week turns me into a Bat Shit Crazy heifer when I'm not on birth control?) I posted last week that my dear friend Rudy had been ignoring me... He wasn't ignoring me... Apparently he had a cold that flat put him on his ass. I finally heard from him Saturday morning and things are.... Semi-normal... Lots of crap we're still working out that has nothing to do with anything happy or fun. Mostly my bat shit crazy girl emotions getting in the way of he and I being friends. Stupid girl.

Anywho... I should be around for the remainder of the week.. Thank goodness.. Blogging is my sanity.

Fluffy Friday!! Happiness is...

Top o the mornin to ya my lovelies! It's FRIDAY!! Woohoo!! For my Fluffy Friday I'm linking up with the beautiful Kenzie over at Chasing Happy! What is happiness? Well with the week I'm having, I wasn't sure it was possible... But there is so much for me to be happy about! SO MUCH! THIS POST IS SO FLUFFY!

Happiness is:

*Actually getting to teach First Aid today!

*Starting a new job on Saturday!

*My best friend is ENGAGED!! Natalie over at Beauty and Brains with Brown Eyes FINALLY got the question popped (after 4 years!). She said yes, of course! Swing by and tell her congrats!

Best post engagement shot EVER!

*Pink Lemonade Hand Sanitizer from Bath and BodyWorks (it's got glitter in it!)

It smells SO GOOD!!

*Carlos and I finally making things officially official! He's like, totally my BOYFRIEND ya'll! AHHH!!!



Aren't we adorable?



*Sweet phone calls at 6:30 in the morning from said boyfriend just to say good morning :)

*Subway turkey sandwhiches.

*@Gingerproblems on Twitter... Funniest shit EVER!

I sent this one to Carlos last night.. He's constantly teasing me about my blush!

*Blog comments.. Seriously.. Nothing makes me smile wider than a heartfelt comment..

*Suave Powder Fresh lotion... It smells like HEAVEN!

*My new Duck Dynasty shirt! It's all about Beards and Ducks Jack!



I look thinner than normal! Woohoo!





What makes you happy?

Do you have any fluff for this rainy ass Friday?

Share it with me!



Guess Who Got A Summer JOB?!

Yeaaaah.. Good morning sweet ones!! It's Wednesday! Happy Hump Day!! (snicker... Giggidy)..

I'm in an inappropriate mood this morning.. And inappropriate is a good thing! I GOT A SUMMER JOB!! Is it the ideal job? Hell no.. I was offered a job as a waitress at Denny's. Do I care that it's not an ideal job? Nope. RED HAIR DON'T CARE!! IT'S A JOB!! I'm actually really excited! (Couldn't tell huh?) I've never actually been a waitress before.. Could be an adventure? Maybe! Who cares... I'm employed and I don't have to worry about losing my car or paying my bills!

I'm working on a blog entry that I will probably schedule to post later... So a quick poll..

What does love mean to you?

What is love?

How do you know when you are in love?

If you would, PLEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEE answer in the comments or shoot me an email at peppersandonionsblog@gmail.com. Please! Do know that if you answer, I will not attach your name to your answers, but I will use direct quotes. This research is completely not sciencetific in the least and all opinons are welcome.. Some of them I've gotten so far have made me laugh my bum off. I take everything from cynical to sappy. Please let me know!!


-Sammie

Monday Again?

My thoughts exactly...

Good morning loves! It's another Monday... Monday, Monday (ba da ba da da). Yes... I went all Mamas and Papas on your behind. Bam. What did I do this weekend? Absolutely nothing productive... I wound up not running in the 5K, due to my leg being a butthead. I am counting down the days until I go to the doctor for my physical. Also counting the days until payday so I can get one of those foam roller thingys to massage my leg. Maybe it will help... Hopefully...

Funny story... I pulled out the scale this morning and decided that maybe since it had a week to recoup from being ralphed on by my baby girl, maybe it was working better... Nope... It did measure my weight.. Crazy thing said I weighed 354.2 pounds... Must be a flaw, so I stepped off and stepped back on... 97.6 pounds.. Neither weights are anywhere near correct! Guess it's time to turn it into a giant paper weight...

I guess I did have a little bit of a productive weekend... I got some REALLY SUPER AWESOME FANTASTIC HOLY SHITBALLS NEWS from Natalie over at Beauty and Brains with Brown Eyes!!! But I've been placed on a gag order until further notice... Heifer... SHARE THE GOOD NEWS ALREADY!! DAMMIT WOMAN!! I'M DYING OVER HERE!!!

I also went out with Carlos! Twas quite fun! We ate at a pub type place (Bleu cheese stuffed burger! OMG NOM!) and went to his house for cuddles and a movie. My joke of the day was I celebrated Cinco de Mayo by eating cheeseburgers with a Puerto Rican date :)

On my breakup with James... I just recently put it on Facebook... I've had several people ask and quite frankly, I'm tired of talking about it. Plus I would really like to move forward in my relationship with Carlos. We've had several conversations about becoming exclusive, so I see that possibly happening in the near future (insert squeals of delight and adoration here).

Yes Mr. Burns... I will be a fantastic girlfriend... Excellent..

I want to send everyone a warning as to what happens if you send me an embarrassing picture... I will post it on my blog, because I'm just that mean. I'm not really mean, per se, I just want to share how FREAKING ADORABLE my Carlos is.. And I want you to share in my snickers while I make completely inappropriate jokes about eating cherry pie... Or having his mouth full of pie... Or that blissed out look he has when he eats pie... I'm not a mean person.. I swear :) I'm just onery!!

Mouth full of pie... Giggle

From The Bottom Of My Heart...

I received several comments yesterday from some amazing people especially my dear Laurie and Jenn (seriously, can you ladies be my new BFFs??). I tried to answer everyone in an email or on my blog. Thank you so much for the kind words and the encouragement. I'm still undecided on whether I want to walk the 5K or not, but I'm leaning towards following through on my committment to walk and raise awareness for Cystic Fibrosis.

I feel like I should elaborate on my home situation some...

I live at home with my parents, but not by choice. I lost my full time job in November of last year and really had no choice other than to move home. I had my own apartment and paid all my own bills. I lived on my own comfortably, but I was by no means rich. Sometimes things were tight if the electric bill was higher than normal, but otherwise I was ok. James moving in with me made things tighter, but I was still getting by. Looking back, it wasn't the best idea for him to move in with me.

I have mentioned before that my parents (dad especially) and I have a bit of a strained relationship. I don't want to throw words around, but I had it pretty rough growing up. Lots of verbal and emotional turmoil and physical threats. I don't want to post details on a public forum, but if you are curious I would be happy to chat with you over email or Facebook.

My dad has always been a controlling asshat. For those of you that know me (or those that are just meeting me), you know that I'm a strong willed, stubborn as hell, defiant person that HATES to be controlled by anyone or anything but her own free will. Tell me not to do something or that I can't do something? I will probably shoot you the finger and do it anyway, just to prove that I can. I have a bit of an issue with authority... Imagine...

There hasn't really been a time in recent memory that my dad and I have gotten along really well. He controls, I roll my eyes and comply, all while talking smack from the other room. I like having my own space and time to do my own things. Even if doing my own thing entails laying on my bed and reading a book. I need my decompression time. I think this is why running/walking/jogging has been so good for me. I'm out of the house, on my own terms, decompressing from the day at hand. By the time I come back in, everyone is usually in bed or asleep. Then I can shower and relax on my own terms.

It's not that I don't appreciate my parents taking me back in... I do... Every day I thank God that they were willing to give me my bedroom back and completely rearrange their lives for me. I know they have made sacrifices for me. I'm so greatful to have them, but there comes a time when I need to be myself. I need to be Sammie... Not M&J's daughter... Not C's big sister... I need to be Sammie.

Also, to comment on falling too hard and too fast... I'm referring to Carlos... I willingly admit that I am completely crazy about him. (For the curious, he and I have known each other for about 2 years.. We met before James and I started talking). My feelings for him grow with every phone call. Things were a little shaky this weekend, simply because he had to work crap hours and I was off my meds. I took him not talking to me as a way of saying that he wasn't interested anymore, when in reality, he was just busy and exhausted (the joys of retail, eh?). He's making an effort to fix things/communicate more and I'm ok with that. I'm really trying to take things slow with him. I don't want to dive in, head first and wind up getting hurt or hurting him. I know he adores me... And to be quite honest, I adore him too.. I haven't felt this way about anyone in so long. It's new, it's exciting, but I really want it to last...

It's My Birthday?

Yep... It's my birthday lovelies!! I am 24 years older than dirt today! I have no real plans for today... Hopefully a run/walk tonight and who knows what else. It has been a really amazing birthday so far, since the celebrations started on Saturday :)

I've had a couple people ask for a recap of my date on Saturday, so here it goes!

I got to his house around 11:00am and was met with the biggest hug EVER. We went to get my car inspected (super romantic huh?) and then traded vehicles and went to lunch. Lunch was at some pizza place (the name escapes me at the moment), but I will say that the pizza was AMAZING. It was a Chicago Style Meat Lovers... NOM NOM.. Holy cow. He was so sweet through the entire meal.. He held my hands across the table and couldn't stop telling me how pretty I was (DAWW). He paid and we left to play video games at his house until movie time. I'm a bit of a gamer, but no where near what he is, so I got my ass handed to me. It's ok though, I'm getting better! (I did threated to not be very nice if he let me win... Which is probably why I got beat so bad... Oh well).

After video games we went to see Scary Movie 5... It kinda sucked... Not funny at all. But I did get an arm around my shoulders the entire movie and a shoulder to lay my head on :)

His parents took us out to dinner after our movie, then it was back to his house for more video games and some TV time. The night ended about 10:30pm with the aboslute, most amazing good night kiss. It was very soft and sweet. ::sigh:: I really like him... A lot...

We went out again yesterday, but that's a story for another time :)

I'll be sure to link up tomorrow with NSVs! I took yesterday off to get tires put on Damon, so I wasn't around a computer. So many victories to share this week!!

-Sammie

Reflections on West and NSVs

Good morning my dears... I'm writing to you with a very heavy heart this morning. The West, Texas fertilizer plant tragedy hit a little too close to home. Knowing that among the missing are First Responders makes me a tad weepy. You may think I'm crazy for this, so let me tell my story...

I've never talked about it much on here, but I'm a first responder. I volunteer with the fire department in my hometown. I'm an EMT/Firefighter. I volunteer to give back to the town that's given me so much. I volunteer for those who can't. I don't do it for the money, the ego stroking, or to be a hero. I do it because I can and I know that there are people who can't. I'm not an attention whore and really it's a little uncomfortable to talk about. I don't view myself as a hero. I never have. It's just something that has to be done...

I haven't been very active in the department lately due to my job and lots of pissant political bullshit going on within the department. I will say though, some of the most humbling and satisfying moments of my adult life have taken place on the scene of an EMS or Fire call. One of them I want to share involves a little girl that used to attend the school that I worked at. She has a heart issue that sometimes makes her heart race. She usually gets really scared and cries. One night I was called to her house... She recognized me from school and would not let anyone else touch her until the ambulance crew got there... Then she asked me (not her mom or any family, but me) to carry her to the ambulance. I can say that when I arrived her heart was racing along around 180 beats per minute. When I put her in the ambulance, the breathing exercises that she and I did together, along with my soothing and the oxygen lowered her heart rate to about 100 bpm. Still not great, but a major improvement.

It still touches my heart that the little girl wanted me to carry her... Not her mom or anyone else... Me... I don't claim to be a hero... I'm no hero.. I help people because I can... I have the physical and mental capability, why waste it?

I struggled a lot last night with my desire to hop in the car and drive to West. I wanted to go help. I didn't. I regret it. I should have gone as soon as I heard about the explosion. Now they are asking that people not come. They are innundated with volunteers. This warms my heart, knowing that so many answered the call to help. I did give blood yesterday, so hopefully my O Positive will go to someone that needs it.

Texans are a resiliant people. We will recover, but we will never forget.

I guess for this week's NSVs, I'm going to go with the fact that I'm slowly climbing back into healthy eating after my vacation. I've been the suck at tracking lately, but it's happening. Slowly but surely. I'm still going out and exercising, but tracking is waning. Probably not a good thing, but I'm not in much of a mood to beat myself up about it.

Galveston Pictures!

Good morning lovlies!! I am actually in a classroom all week this week, so I am having to write and schedule posts ahead of time. I'll still be linking up with NSVs and Spring Training, just maybe a bit later in the day.. One of the posts I wanted to be sure to share are some of my pictures from Galveston. I had the absolute time of my life. I needed the vacation so badly and didn't even know it. Here are some of the highlights of the trip :)

Lounging by the pool...

The kids got to pick the ribbon for my name tag.. I'm very Clueless...

Momma got bored... And stole my sunglasses during opening ceremonies.

The best Mexican food on the island!

I should have stayed... I could be a beach bum forever...

No worries... I always wear sunscreen..

Pleasure Pier... About to conquer the swings.

My favorite picture of the entire trip!

Motion sickness impulse purchase... Shiny pink squid...

About the cutest stinkin little turtles!

Someone was happy for Mommy to be home!

Spring Training Link Up: Boston Thoughts

Good morning loves... It's Tuesday, which means it's time for the Spring Training Link Up. As a special link up today, Katie has given us the option to reflect on the Boston tragedy. Since I really have nothing to update as far as my training (I've been a complete lazy bum resting since I hurt my calf and have just been walking), so I figure it's time to sort through some of the emotions I'm feeling about Boston...

This is one of those things where I feel like I will always remember where I was when I heard the news. I have a couple of these events in my life that have stuck in my memory.

The first major event I remember is the Branch Davidian Compound in Waco burning... I was 4. I remember seeing the building burning on TV in the waiting room of a doctor's office. Mom was in for one of her pre-natal checks with my brother. The TV was huge and I'd never seen a fire that big. I don't remember a whole lot else, but I remember the building.

The second is of course, 9/11... I was in the 7th grade. We had just switched from 1st to 2nd period. It was my math class... We thought it was odd that our teacher had her TV on in the room. I'll never forget watching that... I don't think I moved from my seat the whole morning. My class watched the towers fall on live TV.

Yesterday I was just settling in to the Business Management class that I was subbing for. I got the news from my ESPN App first, then 10 seconds later a text from my mom. Very sad..

My only thoughts towards this entire happening... I hope they catch and prosecute whoever is responsible for this gutless, cowardly and vile act. I don't care who did it, I don't care what their motives were, I don't give a shit about any of that. Catch the bastards and hold them responsible.

P.S. I do feel the need to whore myself a little... Follow me on instagram!! Just look for fromchunkytofunky! 

I Have A Date...

I have a date on Saturday... Holy crap...

I'm really excited and really nervous all at the same time. I'm guessing that most of you are going to want all the saucy details :) I'll be happy to supply them!

His name is Carlos. He and I have been friends for a long time. We met when I did my dabbling in online dating. We flirted a lot, became quick friends, and nothing really happened. We kept talking as friends even after I started dating James, but we lost touch. Turns out he dated his own special Crazy Pants Girl that stole his phone, causing him to subsequently lose my number and he got a new phone and number. Up a creek? Yep.

So we found each other again! The flirting is still happening and I'm pretty sure he totally digs me :) He calls me on his way to work, when I get off work, and just to say goodnight. Not to mention the random texts that we send during the day. It's quite flattering that he talks to me so much :) Makes me feel all special on the inside.

So he found out that my birthday is later this month and he's taking me out to celebrate on Saturday! He's giving me no indication as to what the plans may be, just that I need to dress for comfort. How in the hell do I dress for comfort and still look cute? Jeans I guess? What shoes do I wear? Oi vey. Mr. Elusive.

On a different note... I love Wal-Mart. I got this cute new shirt for less than $5!! It's strictly for running, but I'm loving it!!

Go Hide Your Crazy...

Good morning my lovelies! It's Friday!! Happy dance!!

This weekend promises to be a killer good time. I'm spending most of the weekend in Austin with my best friend for a penis drama free weekend. Forewarning before you delve into this post.. There is some foul language (shocker there... but it's more than normal) and some general crazy-cake behavior. There are 2 sides to every story. This is my side.

I say penis drama free because, let me tell you blogosphere... Someone in my life has recently been sippin on the cray cray kool aid. There is a guy... Who shall remain nameless.. He and I dated briefly in high school and we were broken up by our my family. I was around 14, nearly 15. First real boyfriend. I loved him, blah blah blah. I was an idiot teenager with no concept of what love really meant (sometimes I still wonder if I have a clue). Needless to say, lots of unresolved issues and unfinished business between him and I.

Fast forward a few years... I broke up with my first fiance and dabbled in online dating. Why not? So I come across someone that's pretty cute and seems like a nice guy. Message sent! Guess who? Blast from the past. So he and I talked and blah blah for a while. He wanted to get back with me, try it again, etc... Ok cool. I'm single, lets try. Then he pulls some crazy and I met James. Going along once a month or so while I was still with James, Crazy Pants McGee would IM, Skype or text me and try to get me to leave James and be with him. Didn't happen.

That brings us to recent times. Obviously James and I broke up... Not because of anyone on the outside, but we were done. Crazy Pants McGee catches wind of the break up (I think I may have told him, not my smartest move). So he's back on his hot pursuit for me and my fine ass. I entertain the idea, maybe he's gotten more stable, not as much of a cukoo bird. WRONG! I got some messages last weekend that would curl some toes. He's telling me how lonely and depressed he and and he's thinking about suicide. Being trained in suicide prevention measures (and how to tell if someone is really planning or just being a drama queen) I start questioning him. He shuts down. Through our conversation I can tell that he's being manipulative, so I give him space and don't text or call him.

He tries to get me to come to his apartment last night... He lives in Austin. I live about an hour north of him. #1 I'm not interested in your manipulative, crazy ass. #2 If I was, I would not haul my ass out of bed at 11pm on a work night to come out to Austin. I am an adult with responsibilities. He was so stubborn about this! He refused to see that I can't work on minimal sleep and that I have shit to do that doesn't involve me kissing someone's ass. I cannot cater to someone's crazy whims. He calls me and gets PISSED and starts completely attacking my character and calling me FABULOUS names. Needless to say I hung up on his crazy self...

What do I want from life?
I want a significant other that isn't CRAZY, CLINGY, or WITH MOMMY ISSUES! Homeskillet has all three of the traits I don't want! (Did I mention that he called me clingy?? Seriously.Me. Clingy.)

Plus, not really ready to date right now.. And when I do get ready, I've already got my eye on someone. He's cute, sweet, so amazingly nice, and he thinks I'm the sexiest thang on 2 feet. Sweet!

So... No Crazy Pants McGee... I'm not coming over, I'm not sleeping with you, and you can take a pineapple and shove it where the sun don't shine!!!!!

Bend over...

I'm actually pretty proud of myself for standing up to him. Normally I would have caved. Not this time... Sammie isn't the same stupid 15 year old girl you had goo goo eyes for.

Monday Weigh In and Easter Reflections

Good morning darlings! I hope you all had a FANTASTIC Easter weekend :) I got to spend lots of time with my family. The food was amazing (of course) and I ate a ton of veggies. Woot woot! I also got 2 good C25K runs in this weekend! One on Friday night and one last night. My water intake has been the suck as of late. Not a pretty picture..

So.. As always, it's my Monday morning weigh in!! Yeah buddy! I was really anxious last night about weighing in today. I worked my butt off last week and was really hoping to have some success to show for the effort... And boy did I!! Not only did I drop the 3 pounds that I gained, but I dropped 6 additional pounds!! 6!!

YES! Almost in the 250s!!!

This brings me to a total of 30 pounds gone! 30!! Holy cow!

I'm excited! 30 pounds... I never ever thought I could do that..I haven't taken any pictures yet, but maybe today. I finally got a new mirror for my bedroom, so I can see.. I'll do a before and after in the same outfit, just to look at progress.

Part of my post today is Easter reflections... Sundays are a little rough for me.. Sundays were the days that I would always spend the day with James. Now that we aren't together, I haven't been keeping the routine. It's difficult. Very difficult. I haven't established a routine for myself on Sundays yet, so the sadness seems to be able to whack me over the head when I least expect it.

It's more of a loneliness than a sadness I suppose. I surround myself with amazing friends and my supportive family, but sometimes it's not enough. I miss the companionship that comes with being in a relationship. However, I have no immediate plans to be in a relationship any time soon. It's time to focus on me. I need to be a little selfish at the moment and learn to love myself. How can I love others if I don't first love myself?

I've never been a relationship jumper... I had a string of short term BFs in High School, then I was single for 3-ish years. Then I started dating the butt and was engaged to him for nearly 4 years. Broke that off, single for a few months then started dating James. Broke that off about 1.5 years into it. It seems that in my adult life, I'm tunring into one of those jumpers. I don't want to. I don't want to jump. I want to be happy and single and not have to share my blankets or worry about someone other than Molly. I don't want to be tied down to one person right now. I want to date, meet people, go out and shamelessly flirt, shamelessly flirt with the AV maintenance guy that visits me in the library. I love being single...

At least he won't steal my blankets... Bastard...

But I miss it... I miss the attachment. I miss the feeling of closeness. I miss having someone to harrass at all uungodly hours of the day and night. Sure, I have friends. I have the greatest friends on the face of the planet. I constantly talk to them. Hell I'm sure there are days that they want me to STFU and GTFO. It's different though. Having a significant other is different than just having a friend.

It really sounds like I want to have my cake and eat it too... (Tangent: Who in the hell came up with that saying?? Doesn't it make sense to eat cake if you have it?? Who wants cake to go stale? What am I supposed to do with the cake? Look at it? Seriously...) I want the security of a relationship with the freedom of singledom. I'm a complicated woman...

Celeb Hotness!

This isn't only a weight-loss blog. This is a blog about me and my life. Weight-loss is a HUGE part of my life and my ways, but I'm still a relatively normal 24ish woman. I'm a tad zany and I have my vices...

Confession time!!

We all have celebrity crushes... I know most of us do anyway... Mine (for the most part) are your typical fan-girling crushes. Some of them may surprise you though... Especially the first one listed... Here are my top 5 celeb crushes (in no particular order).

I have a HUGE HUGE crush on Jase from Duck Dynasty. Not only is he hilarious, but he's definitely the sexiest of the brothers. He is absolutely hilarious. As of late, I have a think for the beards... I don't really understand it.. Hello Mr. Robertson!

Next up is the beautiful Charlie Hunnam... AKA Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy.. To date, this is the only blonde male that I've EVER found attractive. I just don't like blondes. Charlie is my exception. Plus the bike and tats? Swoon! I have only recently started watching SOA, and I'm loving it!

The next one of my top 5 is Adam Levine of Maroon 5. He sings, his abs, his tats... Drool... I'll be your stage wife Mr. Lavine! Nom nom nom.

Up next is the absolutely adorable Mr. David Tennant. I fell in LURVE with David while watching Doctor Who. For those of you who don't know, David played the 10th Doctor. Why is David's hair so awesome? It's full of secrets :) He also plays a young Casanova in the BBC series Casanova. I rate sexiness on a scale of 1-Tennant!

I'm notcing a pattern here... Either nerdy guys or complete bad boys. Sheesh. Only one blonde in the whole mix too.

Last, but certainly not least we have the ADORABLE Seth Rogan! He isn't the oozing sex appeal that some of them are.. He certainly isn't a bad ass... He's just freakin cute! I like the glasses and the curly hair :) I am not a fan, however, of his look in Knocked Up. His hair makes his head look misshapen. O_O

Ok my dear blogosphere! Any more hotness in here and I may have to call the fire department! Enjoy!

Do you have any celeb crushes?
Do you think some of mine are odd?
Let me know!

-Sammie

Spring Training 5K Link Up Hotness

Good morning my sweet loves! It's Tuesday and I'm in a good FAN-FREAKIN-TASTIC mood!! Seriously... I'm pretty sure nothing can bring me down today, except maybe the fact that I'm a dunce and forgot to pack my lunch... Doh! Also forgot to eat breakfast... OH WELL!! RED HAIR DON'T CARE!!!

Not really sure where this high is coming from. It's colder than balls, I'm hungry as crap, I didn't get much sleep last night, my workout last night was shameful at best, and I figured out way too late that you can see my new bra through my shirt this morning. My attitude is completely positive today.  Most mornings the above list would send my day straight down the pooper. Not today my loves!

What have I done for spring training? It's called making due with what I have! My birthday is coming up next month, and the one thing I've asked for is a new pair of running shoes. My ankles have been KILLING me during my runs. Terribly killing me. Like make me stop working hurt. I know I have weak ankles.

Luckily I also have a mother that dabbles in sports medicine! She's a paramedic and knows her way around joints, bones, and soft tissue injuries. To prevent the ankle pain, Mom has started using Coban to wrap my ankles. Coban is that stretchy stuff that they use to pressure wrap when someone donates blood. It's also commonly used on horses. Now it's used on Sammies! With the ankle wraps, I've been able to run without new shoes. I look forward to getting new ones, but it's just not financially feasible at this point in time.

Also loving that the coban comes in prints! Hello pink zebra!

I did make an investment for my fitness goals this week! I run in either basketball shorts or yoga pants. Neither of which are iPhone friendly when it comes to workouts. I bought this nifty little arm band to wear... It makes me feel like a real runner! Nerdy? Yep. Don't care!

$18 at Academy! Woot!

The picture below sums up my feelings about life in general right now. Be someone that makes you happy. It's ok to be a little selfish every once in a while. You may just find that what you think is a selfish act now, turns out to be completely selfless in the long run. Think about it :)

Until next time blogosphere!! Stay sane ;)

-Sammie

Monday Weigh In... ARGH

For the first time since I've started my journey, I posted a gain for the week... 3 pounds... Argh.

I honestly can't say that I'm in the least bit shocked. Looking back on the week in MFP, I ate like shit crap. Yeah, it was that bad. Last week may have been one of the most stressful weeks of my life (more stressful than the week that I turned 21 and had two 20+ page papers due, one being the research project for my English minor). I will get into the reasons behind the stress later in the post. I promised an explaination on Friday, so I will deliver.

What do I do when I stress? I eat. While I feel like I had some really good restraint last week, it wasn't enough to post a loss. I had an ice cream sundae 2 days in a row last week. 2 sundaes in 2 days. O_O. Have I mentioned that I'm lactose intolerant and trying to cut way back on my sugar intake?? While I didn't binge on everything I wanted, I did eat EVERYTHING I wanted (in moderation). I'm not ashamed. I'm not discouraged. I'm human. Humans make mistakes. Humans set themselves up for failure. Humans have the ability to pick themselves up and try again. That's my goal for this week. It's time to refocus.

I will say that, mentally I am in a much better place today than I was a week ago. The stress has been lifted off of my shoulders completely. While I still feel some residual sadness, I am much better.

The reasons for my stress and sadness... Here we go... My fiance and I broke up on Saturday night. It was a mutual decision. We felt that we have been growning apart as of late and that we needed to step back and grow up a little. He and I are still friends. I'm giving him all the space he needs to heal. I have been stressed because in my mind, I knew that our relationship was ending. I didn't know how I was going breech the subject with him or how the conversation was going to go. I was so afraid.

I don't like to see people hurt. My top strength (according to StrengthsQuest) is Empathy. I can actually physically feel other's pain. It's even worse when I know that I am the sole cause of the pain. I can tell the moods of people when I walk into a room. The better I know you, the better I am at sensing a problem. My family calls it my sixth sense. I've also been known to bring a calm wave over a person by just being around them. Several of the people I've dated have been very nervous or volatile people. They said being around me is better than any medications or breathing exercises. This is a big responsibility for me, knowing that I can be such a source of good feelings. The mere thought of hurting someone nearly sends me into full on panic attacks.

All last week, Friday especially, the thoughts of having the conversation with my now ex would send me into panic mode. Heart racing, tears, dizziness, I was a mess. Thankfully the conversation went much smoother that I expected. He agreed with me and we made the decision to end things. I still feel bad about hurting him, but I know in my heart that we made the right decision. There is always a possibility of reconciliation, but I'm no where near ready to try that. I need some time to decide exactly who Sammie is and what she stands for.

Thanks to everyone who sent thoughts, prayers, and vibes my way. I appreciate every single one of them. I would not have made it through the weekend without the kind words and emails of my readers. Thank you so much.. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

No Happy Post Today

I had a couple of happy posts in the works for today... But it ain't happening... I'll elaborate more on Monday. Right now I'm too busy wiping my tears away at my desk.

If you are a religious person, please pray for me to whatever God you so choose. If you are not religious, then good vibes and thoughts are welcome. I have to do something extremely difficult and I'm feeling very torn up about it. Please pray/vibe that the person I am interacting with is receptive, accepting and understanding. Please pray/vibe for healing for me, but this other person more than anything.

Until next time blogosphere... Don't cry...

-Sammie