Tuesday, April 30, 2013

NEVER EVER EVER!! (A link up!)

I found this link up over at Alicia's fantastic page here. It's a link up with Neely over at A Complete Waste of Makeup.

Here is a long and distinguished list of things that you will never ever EVER hear come out of my mouth...

-I just love waking up at 6:00am!
-No Michael Buble, please don't sing me another song.. Your voice blows..
-Don't these peas taste divine?
-Bad grammar is so sexy! And it really makes me hot when you misuse the words your/you're and there/their/they're.
-I hate coffee! Coffee is gross!
-Please feel free to interrupt me when I'm talking. I don't mind at all!
-It's so attractive when you chew with your mouth open :)
-Nerdy guys with glasses? Ugh... So not cute... And he's a little chunky too? GROSS!
-I really don't feel like buying a new pair of shoes right now...
-I don't like my natural hair color anymore... I think it's time to go blonde!
-I don't like Cheetos.. They're bad for me.. And I hate the cheesy residue they leave behind.

That was actually pretty fun! Check out the other amazingness in the link up!

Countdown to 5K.. Holy Crap.. Spring Training...


Without thinking about what I was doing, I volunteered to walk in the Great Strides 5K here in Austin.. This 5K benefits the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation. I was originally supposed to walk with one of my students and Carlos, but both had crap come up. I asked Ellie to walk with me, but she's working on moving into a bigger apartment and has to make a trip to Texas City. My student is taking her SAT that day and Carlos was scheduled to work. Whomp whomp. Looks like I'll be hoofing it all by myself.

This is way ahead of the June 1st schedule I've been following and I'm seriously considering backing out. I don't want to walk by myself. I love the idea of 5Ks, but they're not too terribly much fun if you walk them by yourself. Normally I train by myself, but I want to actually compete with someone.

What say you blogosphere? Should I still go and walk in the 5K? I didn't pay any money to enter and I haven't really raised any money either. Nothing would be lost if I did not go, I'm just being whiney and don't want to go it alone. Additionally- If any of you beauties live in the Austin area and want to represent CHS HOSA with me, let me know! I would love the company and I can send you the link to sign up :)

I guess one of the good things that has happened is I finally got myself some new shoes. They are so amazingly comfortable. I haven't had a chance to run in them yet, but I feel that happening tonight! I haven't gone on a good walk or run in what feels like forever. I even dowloaded some new music from iTunes this morning to get me pumped up for tonight.

Aren't they amazing?! AND SO PINK!!
I'm struggling right now. Struggling with eating right... Stuggling with exercise... Struggling with my emotions and the lack of medication... Struggling with expecting too much from certain people in my life... Struggling with letting myself fall far too hard and far too fast... Struggling with the fact that I'm 24, I live with my parents, I'm in debt to my eyeballs and I'm constantly treated like I'm an idiot 12 year old. I'm so tired of being talked down to by my father. I want to move out, so bad.. I know it would be a dumb financial decision, but my mental health is worth something. The mental BS that I put up with on a daily basis drives me up the wall.

Does this mean I can move out? Please?

I'm an emotional mess as of late. I feel lonely. Very lonely. I wound up crying myself to sleep last night after I got off the phone with Carlos because I was just lonely. This Prozac really needs to build back up in my system. I'm sick of being a crying, depressed mess. This is so not attractive.

Any advice for a dumb 20-something just trying to get by?


Friday, April 26, 2013

Chasing Happy

Thanks to my dear Laurie over at Lulu and Daisy, I think I may have found a new link up... This is something I struggle with, given the whole depression thing. Small things make me happy, so why not recognize them? This entire week has been a struggle, so I'm really hoping that things get better.

  • I got to snuggle with  see my boy this week! I had to get new tires on Damon and get his inspection done, so I took the day off work. Carlos had the day off too, so we got to spend some time together.
  • I had a pretty fantastic birthday on Wednesday.
  • Carlos let me borrow one of his hoodies when I went home on Tuesday... He ain't getting it back!
  • Sonic diet green tea.. It's an addiction..
  • Shopping for new running shoes with my best friend :)
  • Sweet text messages from my brother (he actually remembered my birthday!)
  • Walking 8 miles this week.
  • Having awesome conversations with my seniors this week during the Econ class I was subbing in
  • One of my BFFs from high school helping me get a summer job
  • Finishing up a job application for a school that I REALLY want a job at..
I'm working on being happier... I know that a lot of my mood is due to the lack of Prozac. Bleh.

The Perils of Depression

One of the downfalls of having depression is the dependency on the pills to make your moods stable. While I can't say that stable moods are a bad thing (neither are the pills for that matter), problems tend to arise when the pills run out... Or disappear...

I haven't had my meds in several days. I left them on the headboard of my bed and the dogs had a party in my room, completely destroying any semblance of order. In short, my pills went poof. No idea where they wound up. I've torn my bedroom and the living room apart. No dice. Luckily I did find an old prescription with some pills left, so I took a dose last night...

Since I've been off my meds, my moods and eating have been off the charts terrible. I ate a brownie for breakfast today... And I don't give a blue flying fuck. I can definitely tell that my moods have been effected. Yesterday was not exactly a very happy day in Sammie land..

That amazing friend I have that I post about a lot? He and I... Well... I'm not sure... I said some things that I should have kept to myself (not bad, per se, but things that really shouldn't have been said) and I was very upset with myself after that massive confession. His reaction was exactly what I knew it would be, but it didn't make it any less sucky. So needless to say I spent a large part of last night mentally berating myself for being a TFM (total fucking moron) and crying.

My dad was also a bit of an asshat last night. I was not amused. He was very nosy and pilfering through my shit in my room. With the mood I was in, it was not a pleasant thing... I sent him SEVERAL very rude hand gestures while his back was turned. I'm not 12... Stop trying to run my life. Leave me and my shit alone.

I really can't wait to move out on my own again. I need my own space again. I miss being able to walk around my OWN house in nothin but a pair of drawers... Or sit topless on my couch and watch Doctor Who... Or let my bits air dry after a shower... Or sleep in a pair of panties... Or leave my jeans on the floor after a long ass day and not be screamed at to pick them up... Or take care of my own shit without nagging... Or not have an MF-ing cerfew... Or be able to have people stay over without making them sleep on an icky ass couch.

I'm still in a pooper of a mood today.. I suspect I will be for the rest of the weekend too. Balls... I need a stiff drink...

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Non Scale Victories!!

Gooooood morning my dears! Welcome to another fabulous installment of Non Scale Victories! I just ADORE this link up (almost as much as I adore the beautiful hostesses Katie and Lex) ! It takes all of us ladies (and gentlemen) in the weight loss blogging world and completely takes the focus off of the scale. Who cares what the scale says? That little asshole doesn't define you! Beauty isn't measured in pounds!


This week has been (in my big headed not so humble opinion) pretty freakin fantastic in the way of Non Scale Victories. I've finally gotten back into my routine of walking nearly every night. I say nearly because I did take a break on Tuesday due to my leg being sore... I even went on a 3 mile walk last night. After the cupcakes, fried ice cream, and brownies.. I needed that walk. I was in the zone too! It was awesome! Music blaring, 16ish minute mile pace, I was there... It was awesome... Very mind clearing.

I'm also proud to say that I only ate ONE cupcake yesterday... I bought 12... I ate 1.. There are still 11 cupcakes in my parent's house that haven't been touched.. Go me!!

Non fitness related- I started a new book! It's called Moon Called. It's the first book in the Mercy Thompson series. It's Sci-Fi deliciousness.

P.S. I am still putting things together for the April edition of My Favorite Things! Check back tomorrow for the giveaway!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

It's My Birthday?

Yep... It's my birthday lovelies!! I am 24 years older than dirt today! I have no real plans for today... Hopefully a run/walk tonight and who knows what else. It has been a really amazing birthday so far, since the celebrations started on Saturday :)

I've had a couple people ask for a recap of my date on Saturday, so here it goes!

I got to his house around 11:00am and was met with the biggest hug EVER. We went to get my car inspected (super romantic huh?) and then traded vehicles and went to lunch. Lunch was at some pizza place (the name escapes me at the moment), but I will say that the pizza was AMAZING. It was a Chicago Style Meat Lovers... NOM NOM.. Holy cow. He was so sweet through the entire meal.. He held my hands across the table and couldn't stop telling me how pretty I was (DAWW). He paid and we left to play video games at his house until movie time. I'm a bit of a gamer, but no where near what he is, so I got my ass handed to me. It's ok though, I'm getting better! (I did threated to not be very nice if he let me win... Which is probably why I got beat so bad... Oh well).

After video games we went to see Scary Movie 5... It kinda sucked... Not funny at all. But I did get an arm around my shoulders the entire movie and a shoulder to lay my head on :)

His parents took us out to dinner after our movie, then it was back to his house for more video games and some TV time. The night ended about 10:30pm with the aboslute, most amazing good night kiss. It was very soft and sweet. ::sigh:: I really like him... A lot...

We went out again yesterday, but that's a story for another time :)

I'll be sure to link up tomorrow with NSVs! I took yesterday off to get tires put on Damon, so I wasn't around a computer. So many victories to share this week!!


Monday, April 22, 2013

Not Much To Say...

Not a whole heck of a lot to say today.. My weekend was amazing, but I won't bore you with those details :-p I'm in a very odd mood today. I'm more snarky than usual.

I was doing a bit of reflecting while I was powerwalking last night. I was really super pissed that I can't run without the WORST FUCKING PAIN IN THE FUCKING WORLD ARGH! Sorry... Too much? So.. Back to my walk. I was walking along and I come to the realization that I've been eating like total and complete shit for the last few days. I had cupcakes for breakfast one day... Fucking cupcakes...

While I'm not really monitoring anything with the scale, I can tell in my energy level and just in my general health that I haven't been giving my body the proper fuel. (Note to self: Coke Zero is not an acceptable replacement for water). Maybe I need to get my shit back together. My head is way off in left field chasing butterflies. I'm no where near as focused on anything as I once was. Maybe it's the end of school, maybe it's the less than steady work. Who knows.

My date on Saturday went amazingly! No recap though :) Hey... No one said they wanted one, so why stimulate bore you with the dirty deets amazing details. I will tell you that we are going out again and he did say, "I've adored you since I met you."

So my dear friends... I leave you with some pictures taken this weekend. I will be nice enough to show you the whole outfit (my followers on IG got to see a sneak peek!) and a picture that I took of the 2 of us after dinner.

Cute aren't we? I took my sweater off, I swear I'm wearing a shirt!

Friday, April 19, 2013

A Little Bit of Light Hearted...

Good morning beautiful readers! It is an absolutely gorgeous day today in Austin... The sun is shining and there are birds singing. It's a little bit chilly this morning, but that's ok.

In the wake of all the tradgedy this week, I feel like FCTF needs a little bit of happy this morning. Between Boston, West, and the events unfolding in Boston as I type, we need a distraction of sorts... So I'm going to be myself, try to be hilarious, and post some random ass pictures... BECAUSE I CAN!

In my big-headed humble opinion, laughter is the absolute best medicine. I'm sure I could ramble on about some scientific bullshit about endorphins and serotonin and dopamine, but really... Who the hell cares? It just makes me feel good when I laugh!

Nerd Humor FTW

So... Funny story... Apparently on that day in dog owner school where they tell you to not stick your arm (or any appendage for that matter) to break up a dog fight... I was either skipping class or asleep. Yep..

I was feeding my family's dogs last night and my brother's dog decides to be an asshole and start a fight with my dad's yellow lab. Guess which dumbass got herself bit? Yep. It's attractive I tell you. And just in time for my date on Saturday... I probably could have gotten stitches, but ain't nobody got time fo dat. (Or the money... $5000 deductible on ER visits? Holy bat shit Batman.)

Preach it sister

 Poor boy... The dog knew what happened as soon as he chomped too. I can tell that he feels pretty bad about it. He was very affectionate and loving this morning. He even gave me kisses at 6:15 when I woke up.

My injury is 100% my own stupid ass fault. I knew better. I didn't think, I just reacted. I in no way blame either of the dogs for what happened. I was a dipshit and put myself in the line of teeth. Ooops. It's super attractive too. I'm wearing clear bandaids because I ran out of neon ones. That's the suck ass part! PLAIN BANDAIDS ARE BORING!
Lama ass bandaids...

Anyhizzle... I've reached the point where I'm counting hours until my date. Thanks to my heifer Natalie, we have an outfit finalized.. I still really don't know any of the details of the date, except that we are going to catch a movie. Scary Movie 5. I'm a sucker for crappy comedy. Sometimes I have the humor maturity of a 13 year old boy. I still laugh at fart jokes and I have an excedingly dirty mind. I am the friend that can turn any statement into a dirty joke. Also happen to be very quick with the "That's what she said!" and the "Oh yeah? Your mom!" lines. I've even gotten my sweet 79 year old grandma to crack your mom jokes.

So... Quick poll... Who wants a recap of my date on Monday morning?? :) Let me know in the comments if you want a rundown... Who knows, I might even post pictures! But until then... I leave you with a tiny snippet of conversation :) OOOOOO DETAILS!!

(For those of you who no savvy the iphone... My words are in the green bubbles and his replies are in the white bubbles)

Never had the balls to ask him about that special way of sharing frosting... o_O

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Reflections on West and NSVs

Good morning my dears... I'm writing to you with a very heavy heart this morning. The West, Texas fertilizer plant tragedy hit a little too close to home. Knowing that among the missing are First Responders makes me a tad weepy. You may think I'm crazy for this, so let me tell my story...

I've never talked about it much on here, but I'm a first responder. I volunteer with the fire department in my hometown. I'm an EMT/Firefighter. I volunteer to give back to the town that's given me so much. I volunteer for those who can't. I don't do it for the money, the ego stroking, or to be a hero. I do it because I can and I know that there are people who can't. I'm not an attention whore and really it's a little uncomfortable to talk about. I don't view myself as a hero. I never have. It's just something that has to be done...

I haven't been very active in the department lately due to my job and lots of pissant political bullshit going on within the department. I will say though, some of the most humbling and satisfying moments of my adult life have taken place on the scene of an EMS or Fire call. One of them I want to share involves a little girl that used to attend the school that I worked at. She has a heart issue that sometimes makes her heart race. She usually gets really scared and cries. One night I was called to her house... She recognized me from school and would not let anyone else touch her until the ambulance crew got there... Then she asked me (not her mom or any family, but me) to carry her to the ambulance. I can say that when I arrived her heart was racing along around 180 beats per minute. When I put her in the ambulance, the breathing exercises that she and I did together, along with my soothing and the oxygen lowered her heart rate to about 100 bpm. Still not great, but a major improvement.

It still touches my heart that the little girl wanted me to carry her... Not her mom or anyone else... Me... I don't claim to be a hero... I'm no hero.. I help people because I can... I have the physical and mental capability, why waste it?

I struggled a lot last night with my desire to hop in the car and drive to West. I wanted to go help. I didn't. I regret it. I should have gone as soon as I heard about the explosion. Now they are asking that people not come. They are innundated with volunteers. This warms my heart, knowing that so many answered the call to help. I did give blood yesterday, so hopefully my O Positive will go to someone that needs it.

Texans are a resiliant people. We will recover, but we will never forget.


I guess for this week's NSVs, I'm going to go with the fact that I'm slowly climbing back into healthy eating after my vacation. I've been the suck at tracking lately, but it's happening. Slowly but surely. I'm still going out and exercising, but tracking is waning. Probably not a good thing, but I'm not in much of a mood to beat myself up about it.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Cara Box Stumped and Blocking the Crazy...

Good morning loves!

I know I've already had a scheduled post today... But I needs some help.. I am doing the Cara Box Link Up and I haven't put mine together to send to my partner... I'm so stuck.. I've read her blog a lot and it seems like we have a very similar sense of humor. She shares some of the funniest freakin pictures! She's also pregnant with munchkin #2 and she already has a little boy.

How do I go green for a mom of 2??? Shizzle... I've sent her a couple emails this morning asking some general questions, but I'm so stumped.. Maybe a cute tote back full of awesomeness? Crap... No idea...

Mommy readers, any ideas?! Cara Box participants, any ideas?! I'm desperate here...

On another (separate) note... I finally grew and pair and completely blocked Crazy Pants McGee from being able to contact me.. I blocked his crazy arse on Facebook, Skype and I deleted his phone number.. Also deleted the slew of whiny, pathetic text messages begging me to love him.. GAG ME. I don't love you. It's a hell of a thing for me to be able to say too. I'm worth more than you... Bat shit crazy...

Galveston Pictures!

Good morning lovlies!! I am actually in a classroom all week this week, so I am having to write and schedule posts ahead of time. I'll still be linking up with NSVs and Spring Training, just maybe a bit later in the day.. One of the posts I wanted to be sure to share are some of my pictures from Galveston. I had the absolute time of my life. I needed the vacation so badly and didn't even know it. Here are some of the highlights of the trip :)

Lounging by the pool...

The kids got to pick the ribbon for my name tag.. I'm very Clueless...

Momma got bored... And stole my sunglasses during opening ceremonies.

The best Mexican food on the island!

I should have stayed... I could be a beach bum forever...

No worries... I always wear sunscreen..

Pleasure Pier... About to conquer the swings.

My favorite picture of the entire trip!

Motion sickness impulse purchase... Shiny pink squid...

About the cutest stinkin little turtles!

Someone was happy for Mommy to be home!

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Spring Training Link Up: Boston Thoughts


Good morning loves... It's Tuesday, which means it's time for the Spring Training Link Up. As a special link up today, Katie has given us the option to reflect on the Boston tragedy. Since I really have nothing to update as far as my training (I've been a complete lazy bum resting since I hurt my calf and have just been walking), so I figure it's time to sort through some of the emotions I'm feeling about Boston...

This is one of those things where I feel like I will always remember where I was when I heard the news. I have a couple of these events in my life that have stuck in my memory.

The first major event I remember is the Branch Davidian Compound in Waco burning... I was 4. I remember seeing the building burning on TV in the waiting room of a doctor's office. Mom was in for one of her pre-natal checks with my brother. The TV was huge and I'd never seen a fire that big. I don't remember a whole lot else, but I remember the building.

The second is of course, 9/11... I was in the 7th grade. We had just switched from 1st to 2nd period. It was my math class... We thought it was odd that our teacher had her TV on in the room. I'll never forget watching that... I don't think I moved from my seat the whole morning. My class watched the towers fall on live TV.

Yesterday I was just settling in to the Business Management class that I was subbing for. I got the news from my ESPN App first, then 10 seconds later a text from my mom. Very sad..

My only thoughts towards this entire happening... I hope they catch and prosecute whoever is responsible for this gutless, cowardly and vile act. I don't care who did it, I don't care what their motives were, I don't give a shit about any of that. Catch the bastards and hold them responsible.

P.S. I do feel the need to whore myself a little... Follow me on instagram!! Just look for fromchunkytofunky! 

Monday, April 15, 2013

I Have A Date...

I have a date on Saturday... Holy crap...

I'm really excited and really nervous all at the same time. I'm guessing that most of you are going to want all the saucy details :) I'll be happy to supply them!

His name is Carlos. He and I have been friends for a long time. We met when I did my dabbling in online dating. We flirted a lot, became quick friends, and nothing really happened. We kept talking as friends even after I started dating James, but we lost touch. Turns out he dated his own special Crazy Pants Girl that stole his phone, causing him to subsequently lose my number and he got a new phone and number. Up a creek? Yep.

So we found each other again! The flirting is still happening and I'm pretty sure he totally digs me :) He calls me on his way to work, when I get off work, and just to say goodnight. Not to mention the random texts that we send during the day. It's quite flattering that he talks to me so much :) Makes me feel all special on the inside.

So he found out that my birthday is later this month and he's taking me out to celebrate on Saturday! He's giving me no indication as to what the plans may be, just that I need to dress for comfort. How in the hell do I dress for comfort and still look cute? Jeans I guess? What shoes do I wear? Oi vey. Mr. Elusive.

On a different note... I love Wal-Mart. I got this cute new shirt for less than $5!! It's strictly for running, but I'm loving it!!

Friday, April 12, 2013

Stop Being A Lazy Heifer!

I admitted in my Leibster award blog that I'm a lazy ass and only wear my glasses on days that I don't feel like putting contacts in...

Anyone want to wager a guess as to how long I've been sporting my frames?

Months... Months my friends... I'm a bum. Yep. Don't care.

Now that I'm back on the dating scene, I'm beginning to wonder if I should venture back into the land of contacts or stick with my glasses.. I wonder... I do tend to wear my contacts more in the summer, so I can slip on a pair of sunglasses.

So... I ask you dear blog friends... Glasses or contacts? I didn't pick the most attractive pictures ever, but you get the gist.

Not actually wearing the contacts, but you get the picture.

Reppin the Connally Green! Go Cougs!

Please ignore the under eye bags in the first picture... Long night... These were taken about a week ago..

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Non Scale Victories! Galveston Island Style


Good morning from the beautiful Galveston Island! Yesterday was pure insanity. I love all the kids that I'm traveling with.. They are an amazing, diverse group of young adults.

Our hotel is maybe 25 yards from the gulf. It's so beautiful. Except for the seagulls... Foul beasts.. I hate seagulls.. They are the bane of my existence!

My victory is a little bit bass-ackwards for today.. Yesterday, I let myself have an all out, no holds barred cheat day. From breakfast to dinner, I let myself go insane. And guess what? I don't feel bad about it. I'm back on healthy eating today (maybe except for that bagel, but whatevs) and I'm going to visit the fitness center tonight. My leg is feeling much better, so I think all I needed was a real cheat day. Just a day of vacation-esque break.

Today the kids from the Biomedical Debate Team have testing and we are set to attend the opening ceremonies tonight at 7:30pm. Then on Friday our PSA team competes and the Biomedical Debate team will get to debate if their test scores are in the top half of the competitors. Friday we are also planning on going to Pleasure Pier on Friday night! I'm really excited!

I've made sure to attach pictures from yesterday. I'll make sure to take lots of pictures today, we're going to the beach! I think we may also be going to the Rainforest Café for dinner tonight! I'm really excited :)

It's too early for this shit...

Love these kids!

Must have a picture in the funny hats

Mocha Almond Fudge... Coffee, Chocolate and Nuts.. Damn

Finally on the Island! The weather was terrible!

Pigtails... The only way to tame the beastly fro..

Foul beasts! EFFIN SEAGULLS!!

It was misty, windy, and damp.. But I love the beach!

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

On the road again...

Good morning sweet readers!

I'm writing this post from the front seat of a 15 passenger van en route to Galveston! I'm actually sitting in the parking lot watching the kids load their luggage. I'll be sure to post some pictures of our shenanigans later today. First stop!? Brenham! We will be stopping at the Blue Bell Creamery and the Southern Flyer Diner :)

Until later blogosphere!

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Spring Training 5K Challenge: Mission Ouch!


Good morning my lovelies.. It's another fun filled day in the land of Sammie. What's on my agenda for today? Lots of packing... I am heading to Galveston for a few days in the name of work. My mom is the sponsor of a HOSA chapter, and the Texas state contest is this week. We have 3 different teams competing! Once the PSA team is done, I will be sure to link their PSA up on the blog! Brilliant kids I tell you!

So, what have I been doing as far as 5k training? Not much. I did go for a run last night and Sunday night, but I got cut short last night. I think I may have pulled a msucle or something in my left leg. I'm really sore and it hurts to walk on it today. Aleve and I are going to become BFFs if this crap keeps up.

I'm not sleeping like I should be either. I wake up so tired... I'm having to drag my arse out of bed and I'm downing caffiene like no one's business. It's frustrating...

On a different note, Crazy Pants McGee is back to his old ways... I haven't spoken to him since Thursday night... He's been begging me to talk to him, even saying that he loves me and calling me baby... O_O; What? Are you serious? Hello whacko... I don't love you. I may have loved you at one point in my life, but I do not love you now. I actually find your behavior appalling and I find you to be pushy and a bit rude. Ain't nobody got time fo dat...
Any-hizzle... I know that I made a mention of a super fantastical giveaway in April, since it's my birthday :) (24 on the 24th! woot!). I'll be shopping around in Galveston for some amazingness to add to what I already have. I'm actually really excited about my birthday this year. I'm hoping it's better than the years past. My birthdays tend to really depress me for some reason. Usually because some people tend to forget. Bleh. Oh well.. Another year older, another year wiser, another year alive. Allon-sy!

Monday, April 8, 2013

I'm Breaking Up With You...

It's Monday morning! Good morning my dears. I hope everyone had a FANTASTIC weekend! I know I did!! My weekend was so amazing I woke up this morning with a huge grin on my face. This was definitely one of the best weekends I've had in a long time.

So... I'm breaking up with several things in  my life at the moment.. It's time for me to part ways with some aspects of life and celebrate others.

The first thing I'm dumping is my long hair...
And to think.. It's actually behaving...

Long hair.. We've had some really good times and we've had some really bad times. You've always been supportive, but lately you've been a bit frizzy and unmanageable. In my quest to feel better in my own skin, I think it's time that you and I parted ways. I doubt that I will ever be coming back to the land of Rapunzel-esque tresses.

My new cut makes me look and feel foxy. I thought I was a sexy beast before, but the new hair just magnifies my animal magnetism. Not to mention I'm a little bit of an attention whore, so I'm loving all the oohs and aahs. RED HAIR DON'T CARE! At least I'm comfortable enough to admit that I'm an attention whore :-p

The second thing I'm dumping is my Monday Weigh In posts...

For too long, I've let my weigh ins on Monday morning dictate how my week goes. I come on here and I place all the focus on that number that the scale spits out at me. That's not my focus anymore. I don't give a damn what the scale says and I will not let it dictate my week. I'll keep logging on MFP and I'll weigh in there, but I don't plan on sharing my weight on my blog. My weight does not define me. I am not worth any less at a size 20 than I am at a size 10. Scale- You don't own me. Bugger off you bastard.

My blog is going to become a haven for me to work my balls off. I want to run and be fit. I want to dance and swim and live an active lifestyle! Fit is not a body shape. Fit is a way of life. Healthy eating, exercise, self confidence, body positivity, and mental health are what I'm all about now. Weight is no longer important to me. Fitness is important. My body is fantastic, time to make it healthier, stronger and sexier than ever.
This exactly... You are all beautiful...
I hope that you all will continue to stick around and read what I have to say... I want every single one of you to know that I'm so proud of everything you accomplished. I love reading about your losses, your gains, and your lives. I'm not going to stop following you and I will continue to cheer you on. This is merely a change for myself. You are all beautiful, strong women and look up to all of you for everything you've accomplished. Rock on ladies! You are in charge of your destiny!

I leave you today with the tshirt that is at the top of my wishlist. There is one person I would cuddle so hard. He's a reader too :) You know who you are!

Friday, April 5, 2013

Go Hide Your Crazy...

Good morning my lovelies! It's Friday!! Happy dance!!

This weekend promises to be a killer good time. I'm spending most of the weekend in Austin with my best friend for a penis drama free weekend. Forewarning before you delve into this post.. There is some foul language (shocker there... but it's more than normal) and some general crazy-cake behavior. There are 2 sides to every story. This is my side.

I say penis drama free because, let me tell you blogosphere... Someone in my life has recently been sippin on the cray cray kool aid. There is a guy... Who shall remain nameless.. He and I dated briefly in high school and we were broken up by our my family. I was around 14, nearly 15. First real boyfriend. I loved him, blah blah blah. I was an idiot teenager with no concept of what love really meant (sometimes I still wonder if I have a clue). Needless to say, lots of unresolved issues and unfinished business between him and I.

Fast forward a few years... I broke up with my first fiance and dabbled in online dating. Why not? So I come across someone that's pretty cute and seems like a nice guy. Message sent! Guess who? Blast from the past. So he and I talked and blah blah for a while. He wanted to get back with me, try it again, etc... Ok cool. I'm single, lets try. Then he pulls some crazy and I met James. Going along once a month or so while I was still with James, Crazy Pants McGee would IM, Skype or text me and try to get me to leave James and be with him. Didn't happen.

That brings us to recent times. Obviously James and I broke up... Not because of anyone on the outside, but we were done. Crazy Pants McGee catches wind of the break up (I think I may have told him, not my smartest move). So he's back on his hot pursuit for me and my fine ass. I entertain the idea, maybe he's gotten more stable, not as much of a cukoo bird. WRONG! I got some messages last weekend that would curl some toes. He's telling me how lonely and depressed he and and he's thinking about suicide. Being trained in suicide prevention measures (and how to tell if someone is really planning or just being a drama queen) I start questioning him. He shuts down. Through our conversation I can tell that he's being manipulative, so I give him space and don't text or call him.

He tries to get me to come to his apartment last night... He lives in Austin. I live about an hour north of him. #1 I'm not interested in your manipulative, crazy ass. #2 If I was, I would not haul my ass out of bed at 11pm on a work night to come out to Austin. I am an adult with responsibilities. He was so stubborn about this! He refused to see that I can't work on minimal sleep and that I have shit to do that doesn't involve me kissing someone's ass. I cannot cater to someone's crazy whims. He calls me and gets PISSED and starts completely attacking my character and calling me FABULOUS names. Needless to say I hung up on his crazy self...

What do I want from life?
I want a significant other that isn't CRAZY, CLINGY, or WITH MOMMY ISSUES! Homeskillet has all three of the traits I don't want! (Did I mention that he called me clingy?? Seriously.Me. Clingy.)

Plus, not really ready to date right now.. And when I do get ready, I've already got my eye on someone. He's cute, sweet, so amazingly nice, and he thinks I'm the sexiest thang on 2 feet. Sweet!

So... No Crazy Pants McGee... I'm not coming over, I'm not sleeping with you, and you can take a pineapple and shove it where the sun don't shine!!!!!

Bend over...
I'm actually pretty proud of myself for standing up to him. Normally I would have caved. Not this time... Sammie isn't the same stupid 15 year old girl you had goo goo eyes for.