Grasping At Straws... My NSV...

I feel like I'm grasping at straws trying to come up with a NSV this week. I'm stuck. I'm in a slump. I don't know how to get myself out. I ate Sonic for breakfast and I finished it... Even the Tots.. Shit.. I'm tired, I don't sleep worth a damn, I wake up 4 or 5 times in the night, I'm eating like crap, my motivation is in the crapper, and I'm pretty ready to give up...

It's a struggle like you wouldn't believe

During my walk on Monday I rolled my ankle... The roads around my house aren't the greatest ever and there is a small drop from asphalt to gravel near where I park my car. I stepped wrong and managed to trip, rolling my ankle in the process... I was ok yesterday until about 5:00pm. I was on my feet all day in work shoes (ballet flats) because my Mom's HOSA banquet was yesterday. I helped her with all the food prep and everything, so it was hectic. I'm paying for it dearly today. My ankle is KILLING me. I even took ibuprofen before I left this house this morning. I never take medicine of any kind this early in the morning.. EVER. I won't be doing any sort of exercise until my ankle stops hurting.

Maybe that can be my victory for the week? I recognize that I've hurt myself and I'm doing what I can to help it heal. Does that work? Does that even count? 

I'm injured.. I feel fat.. I feel shitty.. My confidence is in the crapper.. I'm in a TERRIBLE mood... But at least I know my limits. I recognize that doing anything on this ankle will hinder further progress, so I may as well sit back and rest some. There's my NSV for the week... Recognizing my limits in order to prevent further injury.

I'm in a terribly foul mood today... I'm beginning to think that I expect far too much from people... Guess who didn't get to talk to Carlos yesterday, AT ALL. Like no texts, nada.. I called him when I got home and didn't get an answer. I also tried to talk to my friend that I mention here sometimes that's helped me find my self confidence again... He's ignoring me... Like flat out just will not talk to me. I know he's ok because he did say yesterday that he's busy at work and he would get back to me... Guess what? He never got back to me.. Maybe I should just swear off men. Seriously. What the hell is the point when all they do is claim to care about/love/like/adore/be crazy about you and then let you down?

What the hell did I do? No clue... At this point, I don't bloody care... Screw it....

One day I'll actually stop... I hope...

On a tad happier note- If you haven't seen my post from yesterday, go here to check it out. I am working on an entry and I need feedback! HELP! Please??

The Ugly..

I promised the good... I promised the bad... And I promised the ugly.. Yesterday was ugly. Quite ugly.

Breakfast: I caved... We were running late and I didn't have time to grab anything for breakfast. So up comes that big red chicken... Yes my friends.. We stopped at Chick Fil A. And I had my minis and hashbrowns. It was amaze-balls. And about 600 calories for the entire meal O_O

Lunch: I was actaully pretty good at lunch! Peanut butter between one of my Nature's Own sandwich rounds, rice chips and a Special K cereal bar. Coming in around 400 cals. Not too shabby. I love the sandwich rounds. They taste awesome! And have lots of whole grains. Nom nom.

Dinner: Oh boy... About that dinner... Mexican food.. (I had Mexican on Wednesday night too and was pretty good). I was doing ok.. Counting my chips, making sure I mentally logged everything. Then mom ordered fajita nachos with sour cream, guacamole and jalepenos. Crap. I ate aboout 1/3 of the plate. Then I lost count of my chips... Crap... Dinner came and I had tortilla soup (not too bad) and Tacos Al Carbon with corn tortillas and cilantro and onions. Freaking amazing. I have no idea how many calories dinner came out to, but with MFP I guesstimate over 1000. O_O

Seriously?

All total I was only about 80 calories over my limit for the day, which could have been fixed with a bit of exercise. However... Being at the hospital with my great-grandma until 12:30 and getting to sleep after 2 and waking up at 6am yesterday took its toll.. I was passed out and drooling by 9:30. I did manage to talk to my fiance for a little while, which I don't think was anything close to understandable. Poor guy. Luckily today I'm back to my bright eyed, well rested self.

How has the week treated you? Any ugly days thus far?

P.S.  Shout out to all my new followers and everyone that comments! I try to answer most comments personally, but sometimes I'm a bit of a dunce.

July Fireworks

Stress has been my middle name for the last 2-3 weeks. Job related stress has been at the forefront of my mind, so everything (weight loss included) has been pushed to the back burner.

I weighed myself a couple mornings ago and it appears that I'm staying at a steady 271. I would like to be down to about 240 by Christmas. I know that wasn't the plan when I started this project, but alas, earwax.

Since summer is officially here, I suppose it's time to get back on the wagon. Work hasn't really calmed down, but I do have more free time now that there are no kids. I'm planning a trip to OK to see my best friend in a few weeks and I have a trip to New Orleans coming up for work. Lot's of travel, so lets see how I complete the tasks set forth.

I posted the recipe for one of my delicious spaghetti sauce recipes under the recipes tab. It's some of the best sauce I've ever made. I need to focus more on my cooking, especially now that I have time.

Sleep, water, and friends

Yes my lovelies... Sleep is muy importante.. So is a little H2O and some awesome friends...

I've been running around like a mad woman for the last few days and it's making my sleeping habits suffer. That and I sometimes suffer from a wicked case of insomnia. For me, the most recent issues are not falling asleep.. It's been taking me around 45 minutes to an hour to turn my brain off to sleep. I hate waking up tired and dragging my half zombie ass to work.

I haven't been drinking enough water lately and my body is busy telling me about it. I think this issue may be linked back to the lack of sleep problem. Water does not have any caffeine, but Coke Zero does! I'm desperate for something to wake me up..

Friend are the last topic of my (short) discussion tonight. I have some awesome friends. Natalie, Ellie, Andrea, James, Kelly, Joey, Manda and Peter are pretty much some of the greatest people ever. Nothing really to discuss here, just wanted to mention how awesome my people are :)

That's it for today, pretty brief. I'm way too tired to do anything more productive.

Shame on me

Weekly Wednesday pictures... A day late.. Oops. It has been a very trying week. A lack of motivation, work stress, and family sickness has really busted my bum this week. Hence the reason behind the late post.

Shame shame shame...

Yes.. Shame on me.. I've neglected you for far too long! How's about an update?

Zumba today.. Oyuki had new music for us, and it busted my bum! It was a lot of fun trying to learn the new moves, but (I'm sad to say) I miss doing squats! I may get the song and do some squats on my own.

Friday I went to the doctor for my yearly wellness check. The only issue they've found is the fact that I'm obese (duh... moving on). The crappy part is, for the first time in my life I've had to have the fasting blood work done to check my thyroid, glucose and cholesterol.. Lame.. Oh well, I knew it was coming eventually. The doctor and medical student that saw me gave me some really good tips on weight loss and have encouraged me to start counting my calories. >.< I'm horrible at counting calories.. They also suggested exercise using some resistance bands (which I bought on Saturday!), and maybe some body weight exercises to start building muscles.The medical student said that I was building muscles, so I should expect little to no change in weight..

My goals/stats haven't changed lately.. I haven't met any of my goals.. I have noticed a difference in the strength of my joints and I think I've lost some inches, but no real weight loss... I'm not feeling super motivated at the moment..

Frustrations

Today's topic is something that I'm sure we've all hit at one point or another. Frustration. My frustration stems from that stupid little machine that I step on every morning and the number it spits out at me. Yes my friends, I'm talking about the scale.

I've been exercises at least twice (typically 3-4 times) a week since the last week in February.  I've drastically cut down on soda (the diet kind) and drink one once every 2 days or so. I don't eat a ton of sugar anyway (I cut way back after my mom was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes a couple years ago), but Ive cut way back on what little I eat. I'm drinking more water, eating more fruits and veggies, less carbs, better protein and more whole grain... Then why in the heck does the number on that confounded scale NEVER MOVE?! Actually, wait... Let me say that again... THE DAMN THING SAYS I HAVE GAINED! Seriously? Seriously. Talk about a major frustration.

I will admit that my last couple dinners haven't exactly been the model of healthy living, but I do what I can with what I've got. I feel better, and I can tell that I've got more muscle tone than I have had in the last few years. Unfortunately everyone looks at the little number from that stupid machine. That number is used to calculate BMI and the doctors always lecture us about it, but when we try to change it the damn number doesn't move!

ARGH!