Thursday, May 9, 2013

Grasping At Straws... My NSV...

I feel like I'm grasping at straws trying to come up with a NSV this week. I'm stuck. I'm in a slump. I don't know how to get myself out. I ate Sonic for breakfast and I finished it... Even the Tots.. Shit.. I'm tired, I don't sleep worth a damn, I wake up 4 or 5 times in the night, I'm eating like crap, my motivation is in the crapper, and I'm pretty ready to give up...

It's a struggle like you wouldn't believe

During my walk on Monday I rolled my ankle... The roads around my house aren't the greatest ever and there is a small drop from asphalt to gravel near where I park my car. I stepped wrong and managed to trip, rolling my ankle in the process... I was ok yesterday until about 5:00pm. I was on my feet all day in work shoes (ballet flats) because my Mom's HOSA banquet was yesterday. I helped her with all the food prep and everything, so it was hectic. I'm paying for it dearly today. My ankle is KILLING me. I even took ibuprofen before I left this house this morning. I never take medicine of any kind this early in the morning.. EVER. I won't be doing any sort of exercise until my ankle stops hurting.

Maybe that can be my victory for the week? I recognize that I've hurt myself and I'm doing what I can to help it heal. Does that work? Does that even count? 


I'm injured.. I feel fat.. I feel shitty.. My confidence is in the crapper.. I'm in a TERRIBLE mood... But at least I know my limits. I recognize that doing anything on this ankle will hinder further progress, so I may as well sit back and rest some. There's my NSV for the week... Recognizing my limits in order to prevent further injury.

I'm in a terribly foul mood today... I'm beginning to think that I expect far too much from people... Guess who didn't get to talk to Carlos yesterday, AT ALL. Like no texts, nada.. I called him when I got home and didn't get an answer. I also tried to talk to my friend that I mention here sometimes that's helped me find my self confidence again... He's ignoring me... Like flat out just will not talk to me. I know he's ok because he did say yesterday that he's busy at work and he would get back to me... Guess what? He never got back to me.. Maybe I should just swear off men. Seriously. What the hell is the point when all they do is claim to care about/love/like/adore/be crazy about you and then let you down?

What the hell did I do? No clue... At this point, I don't bloody care... Screw it....

One day I'll actually stop... I hope...
On a tad happier note- If you haven't seen my post from yesterday, go here to check it out. I am working on an entry and I need feedback! HELP! Please??


  1. Sounds like you need to be a friend to yourself! You DO CARE! Maybe just take a couple days "off" and then jump back on the horse. Do you go to WW meetings? I highly recommend you do so. Surround yourself with others moving in the same direction. You CAN do it.

  2. I'm sorry you are injured and that you are having a tough time right now. It's so hard, I know but I love that you continue to blog, no matter how you're feeling, because it give me an opportunity to tell you to hang in there! I'm thinking about you and you WILL get out of this funk. REST that ankle, dearest!

  3. Taking care of yourself is always a win! You know I feel your pain (figuratively, of course). Don't let your ego rule your will bring you down every time! Someone told me once that expectations are planned resentments. That's really stuck with me because when you "expect" something from someone you're already setting up the resentment that will follow when they don't "perform." I know you're much better today (Friday), but you know you can reach out to your friends for feedback/advise/whatever. Just stay off the ankle and don't worry about exercising right now. You'll be fine!

  4. I so relate to how you are feeling. My pf has gotten me down, I can't run as much, etc. Your quotes really hit me, but the important thing is that we aren't giving up. You've got this!